time enough for love-时间足够你爱(英文版)-第42章

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as　J。A。　had　bee　my　overseer　and　was　de　facto　boss　of　Skyhaven　the　last　ten　years　I　was　there。
　　
　　〃I　might　have　worked　some　promise　with　Roger　Sperling　if　he　hadn't　tried　to　grab　the　place。　As　it　was；　I　deeded　a　half　interest　to　Pattycake；　sold　the　other　half　to　my　son…in…law　J。A。　on　a　mortgage；then　discounted　the　paper　to　a　bank　and　bought　a　better　ship　than　I　would　have　had　I　given　that　half　interest　to　Roger　and　Laura。　I　made　a　similar　deal；　part　gift　and　part　sale；　with　Libby　and　George；　of　my　share　in　Maison　Long…　and　Libby　changed　her　name　to　Estelle　Elizabeth　SheffieldLong；　there　was　continuity　there　as　well…which　pleased　both　me　and　her　parents。　It　worked　out　well。　Laura　even　came　down　and　kissed　me　good…bye　when　I　left。〃
　　
　　〃Lazarus；　I　do　not　understand　one　factor。　You　have　said　that　you　do　not　favor　marriage　between　Howards　and　ephemerals。　Yet　you　let　two　of　your　children　marry　outside　the　Families。〃
　　
　　〃Uh；　correction；　Minerva。　One　does　not　let　children　get　married；　they　do　get　married；　when　and　as　and　to　whom　they　choose。〃
　　
　　〃Correction　noted；　Lazarus。〃
　　
　　〃But　let's　go　back　to　the　night　I　intervened　for　Libby　and　J。A。　That　night　I　gave　Llita　and　Joe　everything　that　slave　factor　had　turned　over　to　me　as　proof　of　their　old　heritage…even　the　bill　of　sale…with　a　suggestion　that　they　destroy　the
　　
　　stuff　or　lock　it　up。　Among　those　items　was　a　series　of　photographs　showing　them　growing　up；　year　by　year。　The　last　one　seemed　to　have　been　taken　just　before　I　bought　them；　and　they　confirmed　it…two　fully　grown　youngsters；　one　in　a　chastity　girdle。
　　
　　〃Joe　looked　at　that　picture　and　said；　〃What　a　couple　of　clowns！　We've　e　a　long　way；　Sis~…thanks　to　the　Skipper。'
　　
　　〃'So　we　have；'　she　agreed；　and　studied　the　picture。　'Brother；　do　you　see　what　I　do？'
　　
　　〃'What？'　he　said；　looking　again。
　　
　　〃'Aaron　will　see　it。　Brother；　take　off　your　clout；'　she　said；　while　starting　to　unwrap　her　sarong；　'and　pose　with　me　against　the　wall。　Not　the　selling　pose；　but　the　way　we　used　to　stand　against　a　grid　for　these　record　pictures。'　She　handed　me　that　last　picture　in　the　series；　and　they　stood　and　faced　me。
　　
　　〃Minerva；　in　fourteen　years　they　had　not　changed。　Llita　had　had　three　kids　and　was　just　pregnant　with　her　fourth　and　both　of　them　had　worked　themselves　silly　。　。　but；　stripped　naked；　no　makeup　on　her　and　her　hair　down；　they　looked　as　they　had　the　first　time　I　saw　them。　They　looked　like　that　last　record　shot…end　of　adolescence；　somewhere　between　eighteen　and　twenty　in　Earth　terms。
　　
　　〃Yet　they　had　to　be　past　thirty。　Thirty…five　Earth　years　old　if　those　Blessed　records　were　to　be　trusted。
　　
　　〃Minerva；　I　have　just　one　thing　to　add。　When　I　last　saw　them；　they　were　past　sixty　in　Earth　years；　about　sixty…three　if　you　accept　the　records　from　Blessed。　Neither　one　had　a　gray　hair；　both　had　all　their　teeth…and　Llita　was　pregnant　again。〃
　　
　　〃Mutant　Howards；　Lazarus？〃
　　
　　The　old　man　shrugged。　〃Isn't　that　a　question…begging　term；　dear？　If　you　use　a　long　enough　time　scale；　every　one　of　the　thousands　of　genes　a　flesh…and…blood　carries　is　a　mutation。　But　by　the　Trustees'　rules；　a　person　not　derived　from　the　Families'　genealogies　can　be　registered　as　a　newly　discovered　Howard　if　he　can　show　proof　of　four　grandparents　surviving　a？　least　to　one　hundred。　And　that　rule　would　have　excluded　me；　had　I　not　been　born　into　the　Families。　But　on　top　of　that；　the　age　I　had　reached　when　I　got　my　first　rejuvenation　is　too　great　to　be　accounted　for　by　the　Howard　breeding　experiment。　They　claim　today　that　they　have　located　in　the　twelfth　chromosome　pair　a　gene　plex　that　determines　longevity　like　winding　a　clock。　If　so；　who　wound　my　clock？　Gilgamesh？　'Mutation'　is　never　an　explanation；　it　is　simply　a　name　for　an　observed　fact。
　　
　　〃Perhaps　some　natural　long…lifer；　not　necessarily　a　Howard；　had　visited　Blessed…the　naturals　are　forever　moving　around；　changing　their　names；　dyeing　their　hair；　they　have　all　gone　through　history…and　earlier。　But；　Minerva；　you　recall　from　my　life　as　a　slave　on　Blessed　one　odd　and　unsavory　incident…〃
　　
　　（Omitted）
　　
　　〃…so　my　best　guess　is　that　Llita　and　Joe　were　my　own　greatgreat…grandchildren。〃
　　
　　VARIATIONS　ON　A　ThEME
　　
　　x
　　
　　Possibilities
　　
　　〃Lazarus~。　was　that　why　you　refused　to　share　'Eros'　with　her？〃
　　
　　〃Eh？　But；　Minerva；　dear；　I　didn't　reach　that　conclusion…or　suspicion…that　night。　Oh；　I　admit　to　prejudice　about　sex　with　my　descendants…you　can　take　the　boy　out　of　the　Bible　Belt；　but　it　is　hard　to　take　the　Bible　Belt　out　of　the　boy。　Still；　I　had　had　a　thousand　years　in　which　to　learn　better。〃
　　
　　〃So？〃　said　the　puter。　〃Was　it　simply　that　you　still　classed　her　as　an　ephemeral？　That　troubles　me；　Lazarus。　In　my　own…deprived…state；　I　find　that；　like　her　husband　Joe；　I　see　her　side　of　it。　Your　reasons　seem　excuses；　not　sufficient
　　
　　grounds　to　refuse　her　need。〃
　　
　　〃Minerva；　I　did　not　say　I　refused　her。〃
　　
　　〃Oh！　Then　I　infer　that　you　granted　her　this　boon。　I　feel　a　lessening　of　tension。〃
　　
　　〃I　didn't　say　that；　either。〃
　　
　　〃I　find　an　implied　contradiction；　Lazarus。〃
　　
　　〃Simply　because　there　are　things　I　have　not　said；　dear。　Everything　I　tell　you　winds　up　in　my　memoirs；　that　was　the　deal　I　made　with　Ira。　Or　I　can　tell　you　to　erase　something；　in　which　case　I　might　as　well　not　have　told　you　at　all。　Perhaps　my　twenty…three　centuries　do　hold　something　worth　recording。　But　I　see　no　possible　excuse　for　placing　on　record　each　time　some　darling　lady　shared　with　me　simply　for　pleasure；　not　for　progeny。〃
　　
　　The　puter　answered　thoughtfully；　〃I　imply　from　this　addendum　that；　while　I　am　precluded　from　inferring　anything　about　the　boon　Llita　requested；　your　rule　with　respect　to　ephemerals　extended　only　to　marriage　and　to　progeny。〃
　　
　　〃Nor　did　I　say　that！〃
　　
　　〃Then　I　have　not　understood　you；　Lazarus。　Conflict。〃
　　
　　The　old　man　brooded；　then　answered　slowly　and　sadly；　〃I　think　I　said　that　marriage　between　a　long…lived　and　a　shortlived　was　a　bad　idea　。　。　and　so　it　is　。　。　and　I　learned　it　the　hard　way。　But　that　was　long　ago　and　far　away　and　when　she　died；　part　of　me　died。　I　stopped　wanting　to　live　forever。〃　He　stopped。
　　
　　The　puter　said　brokenly；　〃Lazarus…Lazarus；　my　beloved　friend！　I　am　sorry！〃
　　
　　Lazarus　Long　sat　up　straight　and　said　briskly；　〃No；　dear。　Don't　be　sorry　for　me。　No　regrets…never　any　regrets。　Nor　would　I　change　it　if　I　could。　Even　if　I　had　a　time　machine　and　could　go　back　and　change　one　cusp…I　would　not　do　so。　No；　not　one　instant；　much　less　that　cusp。　Now　let's　speak　of　something　else。〃
　　
　　〃Whatever　you　wish；　dear　friend。〃
　　
　　〃All　right。　You　keep　ing　back　to　me　and　Llita；　Minerva；　and　seem　bothered　that　I　denied　her　this　'boon。'　But　you　don't　know　that　I　denied　her　anything　and　you　certainly　don't　know　that　it　was　a　'boon。'　Can　be；　surely…but　not　always；　and　often　sex　is　not。　Trouble　is　that　you　don't　understand　'Eros；'　dear；　because　you　can't；　you　aren't　built　to　understand　it。　I'm　not　running　down　sex；　sex　is　swell；　sex　is　wonderful。　But　if　you　put　a　holy　aura　around　it…and　that　is　what　you　are　doing…sex　stops　being　fun　and　starts　being　neurotic。
　　
　　〃Stipulating　for　argument　that　I　'denied　Llita　this　boon；'　it　surely　did　not　leave　her　sex　starved。　At　worst　I　could　possibly　have　miffed　her　a　little。　But　she　was　not　deprived。　Llita　was　a　hearty　wench；　and　having　to　work　too　hard　was　the　only　thing　that　ever　kept　her　off　her　back…or　on　top；　or　standing？up；　or　kneeling；　or　swinging　from　the　chandeliers…and　I　did　make　it　possible　for　them　to　have　more　time　for　it。　Joe　and　Llita　were　simple　souls；　uninhibited　and　uncorrupted；　and　of　the　four　major　interests　of　mankind…war；　money；　politics；　and　sex…they　were　interested　only　in　sex　and　money。　With　some　guidance　from　me　they　got　plenty　of　both。
　　
　　〃Shucks；　it　can't　matter　now　to　say　that；　after　they　learned　contraception　techniques…almost　as　perfect　then　as　now；　and　which　I　taught　them　but　had　no　reason　to　mention…they　had　no　superstitions　or　taboos　to　keep　them　from　branching　out　for　fun；　and　their　pair…bonding　was　so　strong　as　not　to　be　endangered　thereby。　They　were　innocent　hedonists；　and　if　Llita　failed　to　trip　one　tired　old　spaceman；　she　did　trip　plenty　of　others。　And　so　did　Joe。　They　had　fun…plus　the　deep　happiness　of　as　perfect　a　marriage　as　I　have　ever　observed。〃
　　
　　〃I　am　most　pleased　to　hear　it；〃　Minerva　answered。　〃Very　well；　Lazarus；　I　withdraw　my　questions　and　refrain　from　speculations　about　Mrs。　Long　and　that　'tired　old　spaceman'…even　though　your　statements　show　that　you　were　neither　tired；　nor　old；　nor　a　spaceman　at　that　time。　You　mentioned　'four　major　interests　of　mankind'…but　did　not　include　science　and　art。〃
　　
　　〃I　didn't　leave　them　out　through　forgetting　them；　Minerva。　Science　and　art　are　occupations　of　a　very　small　minority…a　small　percentage　even　of　those　people　who　claim　to　be　scientists　or　artists。　But　you　know　that；　you　were　simply　changing　the　aubject。〃
　　
　　〃Was　I；　Lazarus？〃
　　
　　〃Pig　whistle；　dear。　You　know　the　parable　of　the　Little　Mermaid。　Are　you　prepared　to　pay　the　price　she　paid？　You　can；　you　know。〃　He　added；　〃Don't　pretend　you　don't　know　what　I　mean。〃
　　
　　The　puter　sighed。　〃I　think　the　question　is　'may；'　not　'can。'　A　wheelbarrow　has　no　rights。　Nor　do　I。〃
　　
　　〃You're　dodging；　dear。　'Rights'　is　a　fictional　abstraction。　No　one　has　'rights；'　neither　machines　nor　flesh…and…blood。　Persons…both　sorts！…have　opportunities；　not　rights；　which　they　use；　or　do　not　use。　All　you　have　going　for　you　is　that　you　are　the　strong…right　arm　of　the　boss　of　this　pla　。　。　plus　the　friendship　of　an　old　man　who　enjoys　very　special　privileges　for　a　most　illogical　reason　but　does　not　hesitate　to　take　advantage　of　those　privileges　。　。　plus；　stored　in　your~memories　in　Dora's　number…two　hold；　all　the　biological　and　geic　data　of　Secundu　Howard　Clinic…best　such　library　in　the　Galaxy；　possibly；　and　certainly　best　for　human　biology。　But　what　I　asked　was：　Will　you　pay　the　price？　Having　your　mental　processes　slowed　down　at　least　a　million　to　one；　data　storage　reduced　by　some　unknown…but　large…factor；　some　chance…again　I　can't　say…of　failure　in　achieving　transmigration　。　。　and　always　the　certainty　of　death　as　the　ultimate　oute…death　a　machine　need　never　know。　You　know　that　you　can　outlive　the　human　race。　Immortal。〃
　　
　　〃I　would　not　choose　to　outlive　my　makers；　Lazarus。〃
　　
　　〃So？　You　say　that　tonight；　dear…but　would　you　say　it　a　trillion　years　from　now？　Minerva；　my　beloved　friend…my　only　friend　with　whom　I　can　be　truthful…I　feel　certain　that　you　have　been　toying　with　this　idea　ever　since　the　Clinic's　files　were　made　part　of　your　memories。　But；　even　with　your　speed　of　thought；　I　suspect　that　you　do　not　have　the　experience…　the　flesh…and…blood　experience…with　which　to　think　it　through。　If　you　choose　to　risk　this；　you　cannot　be　both　machine　and　flesh…and…blood。　Oh；　certainly　we　have　mixes…machines　with　human　brains；　and　flesh…and…blood　bodies　controlled　by　puters。　But　what　you　want　is　to　be　a　woman。　Right？　True　or　false？〃
　　
　　〃Would　that　I　were　a　woman；　Lazarus！〃
　　
　　〃So　I　knew；　dear。　And　we　both　know　why。　But…think　about　this！…even　if　you　manage　this　risky　change…and　I　don't　know　what　the　risks　are；　I　am　just　an　old　shipmaster；　retired　country　doctor；　obsolete　engineer；　you　are　the　one　with　all　the　data　my　race　has　accumulated　about　such　things…suppose　you　manage　it　。　。　and　find　that　Ira　will　not　take　you　to　wife？〃
　　
　　The　puter　hesitated　a　full　millisecond。　〃Lazarus；　if　Ira　refuses　me…refuses　me　utterly；　he　need　not　marry　me…would　you　the？　be　as　difficult　with　me　as　you　seem　to　have　been　with　Llita？　Or　would　you　teach　me　'Eros'？〃
　　
　　Lazarus　looked　astounded；　then　guffaw鑔。　〃Touch？　You　ranged　me；　girl…you　hulled　me　between　wind　and　water！　All　right；　dear；　a　solemn　promise：　If　you　do　this　。　。　and　Ira　won't　bed　you；　I'll　take　you　to　bed　myself　and　do　my　best　to　wear　you　out！　Or　the　other　way　around　more　likely；　a　male　hardly　ever　outlasts　a　female。　Okay；　dear；　I'm　the　second　team…and　I'll　stick　around　till　we　know　the　oute。〃
　　
　　He　chuckled。　〃My　sweet；　I　am　almost　tempted　to　hope　that　Ira　turns　chicken…were　it　not　you　want　him　so　badly。　Let's　discuss　practical　aspects。　Can　you　tell　me　what　it　will　take？〃
　　
　　〃Only　in　theory；　Lazarus；　my　memories　do　not　show　that　it　has　ever　been　attempted。　But　it　would　be　similar　to　a　total　clone　rejuvenation　in　which　puter　help　is　used　to　transfer　the　memories　of　the　old　brain　into　its　blank　twin…in　the　clone　body。　In　another　way　it　resembles　what　I　do　when　I　move　the　'me'　here　in　the　Palace　into　my　new　'me'　in　Dora's　hold。〃
　　
　　〃Minerva；　I　suspect　that　it　is　more　difficult…and　far　more　risky…than　either　one。　Different　time　rates；　dear。　Machine　to　machine　you　do　in　a　split　second。　But　that　total…clone　job　takes；　I　think；　a　minimum　of　two　years…rush　it；　and　you　wind　up　with　an　old　dead　body　and　a　new　idiot。　No？〃
　　
　　〃There　have　been　such　cases；　Lazarus。　But　not　in　the　past　two　centuries。〃
　　
　　〃Well　。　。　my　opinion　isn't　worth　anything。　You　must　discuss　it　with　an　expert…and　it　must　be　one　you　c