time enough for love-时间足够你爱(英文版)-第95章

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e？　Or　fetch　him　if　he's　tired　of　that？〃
　　
　　Lazarus　found　that　Woodie　wanted　another　ride。　He　paid　and　went　back　to　the　bench；　found　Maureen　staring　down　a　lonely　soldier。　Lazarus　touched　his　sleeve。　〃On　your　way；　Private。〃
　　
　　The　soldier　looked　around；　ready　to　argue…looked　again　and　said；　〃Oh。　Sorry；　Sergeant。　No　offense　meant。〃
　　
　　〃And　none　taken。　Better　luck　elsewhere。〃　…
　　
　　Maureen　said；　〃I　hate　to　snub　a　boy　in　uniform；　even　when　I　must。　He　wasn't　fresh　to　me；　Theodore…he　was　just　exploring　the　chances。　I　must　be　twice　his　age　and　was　tempted　to　tell　him　so。　But　it　would　have　hurt　his　feelings。〃
　　
　　〃The　trouble　is　that　you　look　eighteen；　so　they're　certain　to　？ry。〃
　　
　　〃Darling；　I　do　not　look　eighteen。　Me　with　a　daughter　over　seventeen？　If　Nancy　marries　her　young　man　before　he　goes　to　war…she　wants　to；　and　Brian　and　1　won't　stop　it…I'll　be　a　grandmother　this　ing　year。〃
　　
　　〃Hi；　Grandmaw。〃
　　
　　〃Tease。　I　will　enjoy　being　a　grandmother。〃
　　
　　543
　　
　　544〃I'm　certain　you　will；　dear；　I　think　you　have　great　capacity　for　enjoying　life。〃　（As　1　do；　Mama！…and　now　I　feel　sure　I　got　it　both　fimom　you　and　Pop。）
　　
　　〃I　do；　Theodore。〃　She　smiled。　〃Even　when　frustrated。　Very。〃
　　
　　第77节
　　
　　〃Me；　too…very。　But　we　were　talking　about　how　old　you　look。　Eighteen；　that　is。〃　…
　　
　　…　〃Pooh；　You　noticed　how　broken　down　and　ba~by…chewed　my　breasts　are。〃　…
　　
　　〃I　noticed　nothing　of　the　sort。〃
　　
　　〃Then　you　have　no　sense　of　touch；　sir　。　。　for　you　handled　them　quite　thoroughly。〃
　　
　　〃Excellent　sense　of　touch。　Lovely　breasts；〃
　　
　　〃Theodore；　I　try　to　take　care　of；　them。　But　they've　been　filled　with　milk　much　of　the　past　eighteen　years。　That　one〃…　she　nodded　toward　the　pony　ring…〃I　didn't　have　enough　milk　for　and　had　to　put　him　on　Eagle　Brand；　and　he　resented　it。　When　I　had　Richard　two　years　later；　Woodrow　tried　to　crowd　out　the　new　baby　and　take　my　freshened　breasts。　I　had　to　be　firm…when　what　I　wanted　was　to　have　one　at　each　breast。　But　one　must　be　fair　to　children；　not　spoil　one　at　the　expense　of　another。〃　She　smiled　indulgently。　〃I　have　no　sense　about　Woodrow；　so　I　must　follow　my　rules　to　the　letter。　e　back　in　a　year；　Theodore；　and　they　won't　seem　so　broken　down。　They　swell　out　and　make　me　look　like　a　cow。〃
　　
　　〃Will　you　make　it　worth　my　while？〃
　　
　　〃By　a　walnut　tree？　Probably　no　chance；　dear　one。　I'm　afraid　my　scamp　killed　鄒r　one　chance。〃　…
　　
　　〃Oh；　it　wouldn't　take　that　much　to　make　it　worthwhile。　I　was　thinking　of　a　taste…direct　from　producer　to　consumer。〃　（Mama　Maureen；　as　Galahad　says　and　I've　never　argued；　I'm　the　most　tit…happy　man　in　the　Galaxy　。　。　and　I'm　staring　at　the　spot　where　I　acquired　the　habit。　I　wish　I　could　tell　you　so。
　　
　　Darling。）…
　　
　　She　looked　startled；　snorted；　and　looked　delighted。　〃That　might　be　almost　as　hard　to　arrange　as　a　walnut　tree。　But…　Yes　if　it　can　be　done　without　shocking　my　children。　You　are　a　scamp；　too…just　like　Woodrow。　I　know　I　would　enjoy　it。　Because…this　is　secret；　dear…Brian　has　tasted　each　new　freshening。　Claims　solemnly　that　he's　checking　quality　and　butterfat　content。〃
　　
　　（Pop；　you're　a　man　of　good　taste！）　〃Does　he　ever　find　that　one　has　a　taste　different　from　the　other？〃　……
　　
　　She　chuckled　happily。　〃Dear　one；　you　have　so　many　playful…
　　
　　…quirks…　just　like　my　husband　…that　you　m…ake　me　feel　bigamous。　He　claims　so；　but　it's　just　more　of　his　joking。　1。　can't　tell　any　difference…and　I've　tasted。〃　…　…
　　
　　〃Madam；　I　look　forsvard　to　giving　you　an　expert's　opinion。　I　think　our　cowboy　has　worn　out　his　pony。　What　next？　Want　to　try　the　Ben　Hur　Racer？〃
　　
　　She　shook　her　head。　〃I　enjoy　roller　coasters　but　won't　go　on　one　now。　I've　never　miscarried；　Theodore；　and　never　will　if　being　careful　will　keep　me　from　it。　Take　Woodrow　if　you　like。〃
　　
　　〃No。　You　would　have　to　wait…and　these　woods　are　filled　with　wolves　in　khaki　anxious　to　pick　up　eighteen…year…old　grandmothers。　The　Fun　House？〃
　　
　　〃All　right。〃　Then　her　mouth　twitched。　〃No；　I　forgot　something。　Those　blasts　of　air　up　from　the　floor…intended…to　make　girls　squeal　and　clutch　their　skirts。　Which　I　don't　mind　but…　no　bloomers；　dear。　Unless　you　want　everyone　to　see　whether　or　not　I'm　truly　a　redhead。〃
　　
　　〃Are　you？〃
　　
　　She　smiled；　unoffended。　〃Tease。　Don't　you　know？〃
　　
　　〃It　was　very　dark　near　that　walnut　tree。〃
　　
　　〃Redhead　at　both　ends；　Theodore。　As　I　would　happily　show　you　were　it　not　for　the…frustrating……circumstances。　Brian　asked　me　that　while　we　were　courting。　Teasing；　he　didn't　need　to　ask；…　I　was　covered　with　freckles　then；　just　like　Marie。　I　let　him　find　out　for　himself　on　a　grassy　spot　by　the　Marais　des　Cygnes　River　while　a　gentle　old　mare　named　'Daisy'　cropped　grass　and　paid　no　attention　to　my　happy　squeals。　I　suppose　the　automobile　is　here　to　stay…but　the　horse…and…buggy　had　many　advantages。　Didn't　you　find　it　so？　When　you　started　stepping　out　with　young　ladies？〃
　　
　　Lazarus　agreed　with　a　straight　face；　unable　to　admit　that　his　memories　did　not　include　1899　or　whatever　year…she　was　thinking　of。　Maureen　went　on；　〃I　used　to　fix　a　picnic　lunch　and　take　a　blanket　to　…　eat　on。　That　was　one　way　a　girl　of　courting　age　could　be　unchaperoned　as　long　as　I　was　home　before　dark。　A　horse　can　take　a　buggy　into　spots　even　more　private　than　our　walnut　tree。　Truthfully；　despite　this　modern　talk　about　'wild…　women'　and　morals　breaking　down；　I　had　more　freedom　as　a　girl　than　my　daughters　do。　Although　I　try　not　to　make　my　chaperonage　oppressive。〃
　　
　　〃They　don't　seem　oppressed。　~'m　sure　they're　happy。〃
　　
　　〃Theodore；　I　would　much　rather　have　my　children　be　happy　than　…what　our　pastor　gays　is　'moral。'　I　simply　want　to　be　sure　they　aren't　hurt。　I　…　am　not　'moral'　by　the　accepted　rules…as
　　
　　………545
　　
　　546you　know　quite　well。　Though'　not　as　well　as　I　had　hoped　you　would　know　it；　and　I'm　taking　out　my　frustration　in　talking　about　it。　Perhaps　you　would　rather　I　did　not？〃
　　
　　〃Maureen；　since　we　can't　do　it；　the　next　best　thing　is　talking　about　it。〃
　　
　　〃Me；　too；　Theodore。　I　wish　I　were　covered　with　chigger　bites　and　my　soul　filled　with　the　peace　I　know　you　could　give　me。　Since　I　can't　give　myself　to　you　the　way　I　had　hoped；　I　want　you　to　know　me　as　deeply　as　words　can　bring　us　together　。　。　as　deeply　as　I　wish　you　were　in　my　body　this　very　instant。　Does　my　frankness　shock　you？〃
　　
　　〃No。　But　it　might　get　you　raped　right　on　this　bench！〃
　　
　　〃Please；　not　so　mUch　enthusiasm；　dear　one；　people　can　see　us…we're　talking　about　the　weather。　Tell　me；　is　your　thing　hard？〃
　　
　　〃Does　it　show？〃
　　
　　〃No；　but　if　it　is；　think　about　blizzards　and　icebergs…v…Brian　says　that　helps…because　our　pony　rider　needs　to　be　lifted　down。〃　…
　　
　　They　played　both　games　for　prizes；　then　Mrs。　Smith　decided　that　she　could　risk　the　Fun　House　if　she　clutched　her　skirts　as　if　crossing　a　muddy　street。　Woodie　enjoyed　it；　especially　the　Hall　of　Mirrors　and　the　Crystal　Maze。　Maureen　avoided　air　blasts　by　watching　girls　ahead　of　them；　then　either　walked　on　one　side　or　held　her　skirts　firmly；
　　
　　Woodie　tired　himself　out；　so　Lazarus　picked　him　up　and　he　seemed　to　fall　asleep　as　his　head　touched　Lazarus'　shoulder。　They　started　to　leave；　which　took　them　over　the　farewell　air　blast。　Mrs。　Smith　was　ahead　and　Lazarus　assumed　that　she　had　it　spotted　from　the　way　she　swerved…then　she　turned　as　if　to　speak　to　him；　and　stood　over　it。　Her　skirts　went　flying　high。
　　
　　She　did　not　squeal；　she　simply　pushed　them　down　a　split　second　too　late。　Once　they　were　outside　she　said；　〃Well；　sir？〃
　　
　　〃Same　color。　But　curly；　I　think。〃
　　
　　〃Quite。　As　curly　as　my　other　hair　is　straight。　As　you　already　knew。〃
　　
　　〃And　you　did　it　on　purpose。〃
　　
　　〃Certainly。　Woodrow　is　asleep　and　you　had　his　head　turned　away。　Perhaps　some　stranger　got　an　eyeful；　but　I　think　not。　If　someone　did；　what　can　he　do？　Write　a　letter　to　my　husband？　Pooh。　There　was　no　one　in　there　who　knows　us；　I　kej*　my　eyes　open。　And　grabbed　the　chance。〃　…　。　……
　　
　　〃Maureen；　you　continue　to　amaze　and　delight　me。〃　…
　　
　　〃Thank　you；　sir。〃……　…　…
　　
　　547〃And~yOti　h*ve　beautiful　limbs。〃
　　
　　〃'Legs；'　Theodore。　Brian　says　so；　too；　but　I'm　no　expert　on　women's　legs。　But　when　he　tells　me　so；　he　always　says　'legs。'　'Limbs'　is　for　public　speech。　So　he　says。〃
　　
　　〃The　more　I　knOw　about　the　Captain；　the　more　I　like　him。　You　have　gorgeous　legs。　And　green　garters。〃
　　
　　〃Of　course　they're　green。　When　I　was　a　little　girl；　I　wore
　　
　　…　green　hair　ribbons。　I'm　too　old　for　hair　ribbons；　but　if　there　is　the　teeniest　possibility　that　my　curls　will　be　seen；　I　wear　green　garters。　I　have　many　pairs；　Brian　gives　them　to　me。　Some　with　naughty　mottoes　on　them。〃
　　
　　〃Are　there　mottoes　on　these？〃
　　
　　〃'Little　pitchers；'　Theodore。　Let's　get　Woodrow　settled　down　in　the　back　seat。〃
　　
　　It　seemed　to　Lazarus　that　〃little　pitchers〃　could　not　be　listening；　the　child　was　limp　as　ajag　doll。　Nor　did　he　wake　when　he　was　be4ded　down；　be　curled　into　fetal　position；　and　his　mother　put　the　robe　over　him。
　　
　　Lazarus　handed　her　into　the　car；　cranked　it　and　joined　her。　〃Straight　home？〃
　　
　　She　sai？　thoughtfully；　〃There　is　plenty　of　gasoline；　Brian　Junior　filled　the　tank　this　afternoon。　I　don't　think　Woodrow
　　
　　will　wake。〃…
　　
　　〃I　know　there's　enough　gasoline；　I　checked　when　I　went　out　to　meet　Mr。　Johnson's　captain。　Shall　I　find　that　walnut　tree？〃
　　
　　〃Oh；　dear！　Please　don't　tempt　me。　Woodrow　might　wake　up　and　could　climb　over　the　back　and　get　out；　as　easily　as　he　climbed　in　and　hid。　He's　not　old　enough　to　understand　what　we　would　be　doing；　nevertheless；　I　think　his　misunderstanding　of　it　could　upset　him　just　as　much。　No；　Theodore。　What　I　meant　is　this：　It's　not　late；　it's　just　late　for　a　little　boy。　While　he　sleeps　we　can　ride　around　and　talk　for；　oh；　an　hour。　If　you　wish。〃　…
　　
　　〃We'll　do　that。〃　He　got　rolling　and　added；　〃Maureen；　although　I　want　to　take　you　back　to　that　walnut　tree；　I　think　it's　best　that　we　don't。　Best　for　you；　I　mean。〃
　　
　　〃But；　darling！　Why？　Don't　you　think　I　want　you？〃
　　
　　〃I　do~ibink　you　want　me。　And　God　knows　I　want　you。　But　4esp~te　your　brave　talk；　I　don't　think　you've　ever　done　that。
　　
　　…　You　would　want　to　confess　to　your　husband　。　。　and　if　you　did；　it　would　make　you　both　unhappy…and　I　don't　want　to　make　Captain　Smith　unhappy　either；　he's　a　good　sort。　Or　maybe　you　could　keep　it　to　yourself…but　it　would　prey　on　ydur　mind。　Because；　while　you　love　me…a　little…you　love
　　
　　548him　a　great　deal　more　and　I　am　sure　of　that。　So　it's　best。　Isn't　that　so？〃
　　
　　Mrs。　Smith　was　silent　a　long　…　moment。　Then　she　said；　〃Theodore；　take　me　straight　to　that　walnut　tree。〃
　　
　　〃I'lo；〃
　　
　　〃Why　not；　dear？　I　must　show　you　that　I　do　love　you　and　that　I　am　not　afraid　to　let　you　have　me。〃
　　
　　〃Maureen；　you　would　do　it；　you　have　the　courage　to　do　anything。　But　you　would　be　tense　and　worried；　afraid　that　Woodie　would　wake　up。　And　you　do　love　Brian。　All　the　sweetly　intimate　things　you've　told　me　kept　saying　that。〃
　　
　　…　〃But　dob't　you　think　my　heart　is　big　enough　for　both　of　you？〃　…
　　
　　〃i'm　certain　it　is。　You　love　ten　people　that　I　know　of；　I'm　sure　you　can　squeeze　in　one　more。　But　I　love　you　and　do　not　want　~ou　to　do　anything　that　would　make　a　wall　between　you　and　your　husband；　Or　hurt　you　both　through　your　trying　to　tear　down　that　wall　by　confessing。　Beloved；　I　want　your　love　even　more　than　I　want　your　dear；　sweet　body。〃
　　
　　Again　she　was　silent　before　speaking：　〃Theodore；　I　must　tell　you　things　about　my　husband　and　me。　Private　things。〃
　　
　　〃You　shouldn't。〃
　　
　　〃I　should　and　I　must…and　I　shall。　But…　Please；　will　you　touch　me　while　I　talk？　Don't　say　anything；　just　touch　me　closely　and　intimately　and　nakedly　。　。　while　I　strip　myself　naked　with　words。　Please？〃
　　
　　Lazarus　put　his　free　hand　on　her　thigh。　She　pulled　up　her　skirts；　opened　her　thighs；　pushed　his　hand　more　firmly　to　her。
　　
　　Then　she　covered　his　hand　with　her　skirt；　and　spoke　in　an　even；　steady　voice：
　　
　　〃Theodore　beloved；　I　love　Brian　and　Brian　loves　me　and　he　knows　exactly　what　I　am。　I　could　keep　a　secret　forever　to　keep　from　hurting　him；　and　he　would　do　the　same　for　me。　I　must
　　
　　tell　you　what　he　said　to　me　before　he　went　away　to　Plattsburg
　　
　　…and　I　must　use　'bedroom　words；'　Theodore；　polite　words
　　
　　don't　have　the　force　it　must　have。…
　　
　　〃The　night　before　he　left　we　were　in　bed　and　had　jp~'~bad　each　other；　me　still　wrapped　around　him　like　a　~*Jb~'iron　and　him　still　deep　inside　me。　'Swivel　Hips；'　he　*~d~a　pet
　　
　　name　he　calls　me　in　bed…'I　didn't　sell　the　Reo　to　tie　you　dowii。　If　you　want　to　drive；　buy　a　Ford；　it's　easier　to　learn　on。'　I　told　him　I　didn't　want　to　drive；　I　would　wait　until　he　came　home。　He　answered；　'All　right；　Hot　Bottom'…and　that's　a　pet　name；　too；　and　Brian　means　it　most　lovingly…'All　right；　Hot
　　
　　549Bottom；　but　buy　one　if　…you　wish；…　you　may　need　a　car　while　I'm　gone。
　　
　　〃'But　a…car　is　a　minor　matter。　Your　father　will　be　here　and　that's