time enough for love-时间足够你爱(英文版)-第96章

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　　549Bottom；　but　buy　one　if　…you　wish；…　you　may　need　a　car　while　I'm　gone。
　　
　　〃'But　a…car　is　a　minor　matter。　Your　father　will　be　here　and　that's　good…but　don't　let　him　boss　you。　He'll　try；　he　can't　help　it；　it's　his　nature。　But　you　are　as　strong…willed　as　he　is；　stand　up　to　him；　he'll　respect　you　for　it。
　　
　　〃'Now　to　more　important　matters；　Pretty　Tits'…and　I　like　that　name；　too；　Theodore；　even　though　they're　not　and　don't　stop　me　to　say　they　are…'Pretty　Tits；　I　may　not　have　gotten　you　pre？nant；　you　don't　usually　catch　again　this　soon。　If　not；　once　I'm　back　from　Plattsburg；　we'll　keep　on　trying'…and　we　did；　Theodore；　and　I　caught；　as　I　told　you。
　　
　　〃Brian　went　on；　'We　both　know　we're　going　to　~et　into　this　war　or　…I　wouldn't　be　going　to　Plattsburg。　It　may　last　a　long　time…that　〃million　men　springing　to　arms　overnight〃…　is　hogwash。　When　we　do；　I'll　be　gone　again；　and　you'll　be　lonely
　　
　　…and　we　both　know　what　a　firecracker　you　are。　I'm　not　telling　you　to　jump　the　fence　again'…I　said　again；'　Theodore！…'but　if　you　do；　I　expect　you　to　do　it　on　purpose；　eyes　open
　　
　　and　not…　to　regret　it　afterwards。　I　have　enormous　respect　for　your　taste　and　judgment；　I　know　you　won't　cause　a　scandal　or　upset　the　children。'〃
　　
　　She　paused；　then　went　on：　〃Brian　knows　me；　Theodore…I　really　am　a　firecraulcer；　and　I've　never　understood　why　some　women　don't　like　it。　My　own　mother…　Nine　children　and　she　told　me　on　my　wedding　day　that　it　was　something　women　…had　to　put　up　with　for　the　privilege　of　having　babies。〃　…
　　
　　Mrs。　Smith　snorted。　〃'Put　up　with！'　Theodore；　I　was　not…a　virgin　when　Brian　first　had　me。　Nor　had　I　let　him　think　so；　I　told　him　the　truth　the　day　I　met　him　。　。　and　two　minutes　after　he　took　my　bloomers　off　he　knew　it　through　having　me。
　　
　　…。。Theodore；　I　broke　my　maidenhead　three　years　before　I　met　Brian…on　purpose；　I've　never　been　a　flirt…and　told；　not　my　mother；　but　my　father；　because　I　trusted　him；　we've　always　been　close。　Father　didn't　scold　me；　didn't　even　tell　me　not　to　do　it　again。　He　said　he　knew　that　I　would　do　it　again　but　hoped　tbat　I　would　take　his　advice　and　let　him　keep　me　out　of　trouble…and　I　have　and　it　did。
　　
　　〃But　that　first　time；　when　I　came　to　him；　Scared　and　ready
　　
　　…　to　cry…it　had　hurt；　Theodore；　and　wasn't　the　thrill　I　had　expected…that　time　Father　just　sighed　and　locked　the　door　and　had　me　get　on　his　surgery　table　and　examined　me　and　assured　me　that　I　hadn't　been　damaged…and　I　felt　much　better！…　and　fold　me　that　I　was　as　healthy　a　woman　…as　be　had　ever
　　
　　examined　and　would　have　babies　with　no　tr~uble…and　that
　　
　　…　made　me　feel　smug…and　Father　was　right；　I　have　…babies　easily　and　don't　yell…or　not　much。　Not　the　way　Mother　used　to。
　　
　　〃After　that；　Father　examined　me　from　time　to　time。　Doctors　don't　ordinarily　treat　their　female　relatives；　not　for　female　things。　But　Father　was　the　only　doctor　I　dared　tell。　So　Father　helped　me　with　my　problems　and　got　me　all　over　any　shyness　about　being　looked　at　there　or　anywhere。　Not　that　I　was　ever　too　shy；　he　told　me　that　sort　of　modesty　was　dadratted　nonsense…when　Mother　was　telling　me…　the　exact　opposite。　I　believed　him；　didn't　believe　her。　…
　　
　　〃But　I　was　telling　you　what　Brian　said　to　me　in　bed　that　night。　Brian　added；　'I　want　you　to　promise　one　thing；　Pussycat。　If　you　find　that　you　haven't　kept　your　legs　crossed；　will　you　keep　it　to　yourself　until　this　war　is　over？　I　will　do　the　same　if　I　have　something　to　confess…and　I　might！　Let's　not　worry　each　other　more　than　we　have　to　until　the　Kaiser　is　taken　care　of。　Then　when　I　e　home；　I'll　take　you　to　the　Ozarks…leave　the　children　home　with　someone；　just　us　two…　and　you　won't　see　anything　but　the　ceiling　while　we　get　caught　up；　and　also　catch　up　on　anything　we　need　to　talk　about。　Is　it　a　bargain；　my　darling？
　　
　　〃I　promised；　Theodore。　I　didn't　promise　not　to　jump　the　fence；　he　wouldn't　let　me　promise　that。　I　promised　to　be　careful…and　to　save　any　confessing　until　the　war　was　won。　I　wanted　to　promise　that　much　because　。　。　he　。　。　might　not
　　
　　e　back！〃
　　
　　Her　voice　had　been　steady　up　to　the　last。　Then　it　broke；　and　he　realized　that　she　was　crying。　He　started　to　remove　his　hand　and　to　pull　over　to　the　side　of　the　road。　Mrs。　Smith　grabbed　his　hand；　pushed　it　more　firmly　back　between　her　thighs；　and　said；　〃No；　no；　do　touch　me　and　don't　stop　the　car！　Or　I　might　rape　you。　I　don't　know　why　it　makes　me　so　pas
　　
　　…　sonate　when　I　let　myself　remember　that　Brian　might　not　e　back　froj~i；　the　war。　But　…　it　does。　Fve　been　that　way　ever　since　the　day　we　declared　war。　。　and　always…　have　to　look　serene　and　calm　and　unworried。　For　the　children。　Fo？　Brian。　I　haven't　Jet　Brian　see　me　cry；　Theodore。　You　have　just…now…　I　suddenly　could　not　help　it。　But　I　would　rather　you　told。　Brian　that　I　tried　to　seduce　you　than　have　…you　tell　him　that。i　cried　through　fear　that　he　might　not　e　back！　…　…
　　
　　〃Mid　now　I'll　stop　it。〃　Mrs。　Smith　took　a　kerchief　from　her　purse；　wiped　her　eyes；　blew　her　nose。　〃Don't　take　me　home　yet；　the　children　must　not　see　me　with　my　eyes　red。〃　…~
　　
　　Lazarus　decided　to　break　cover。　〃I　love　you；　Maureen。〃
　　
　　〃I　love　you；　Theodore。　In　spite　of　my　tears；　you　have　made　me　happy。　By　letting　me　unburden　myself…and　I　should　not　have；　you　are　going　to　war；　too。　I　feel　almost　married　to　you　now；　by　telling　you　things　I　haven't　been　able　to　talk　about　with　anyone　else。　If　you　had　put　me　on　the　grass　and　had　me
　　
　　…it　would　have　been　sweet　and　just　what　I　planned。　But　this　is　even　closer。　And　sweeter。　A　woman　can　open　her　body　to　a　man　without　opening　her　mind。　I　had　two　babies　by　Brian
　　
　　第78节
　　
　　…　before　I　learned　to　open　my　mind　to　him　the　way　I　have　to　you　tonight。〃
　　
　　〃Perhaps　our　minds　are　much　alike；　Maureen。　Your　father　thinks　we　are　cousins。〃　…
　　
　　〃No；　he　doesn't；　darling；　he　thinks　you're　my　half　brother。〃
　　
　　〃Did　he　say　that？〃
　　
　　〃And　I　think　so；　too。　By　things　Father　did　not　say；　dea…r　Theodore。　By　how　broken　up　he　was　when　he　misunderstood　you　about　your　intention　to　enlist。　By　the　way　he　insisted　that　we　must　claim　a　service　star　for　you。　I　feel　sure　he　is　right
　　
　　and　I　want　to　believe　it。　Yes；　that　makes　what　I　tried　to　do　to　you　dreadfully　sinful　in　some　people's　eyes。　Incest。　I　did　not　care　a　whit。　Since　I'm　pregnant；　it　could　not　possibly　cause　harm　to　a　baby　。　。　and　that's　the　only　thing　that　could　make　incest　wrong。〃　…
　　
　　（How　to　tell　her？　How　much　to　tell　her？　But　I　must　make　her　believe　me。）　〃Your　church　would　call　it　sinful。〃
　　
　　〃I　don't　give　a　fig　for　the　church！　Theodore；　I'm　not　devout；　I'm　a　freethinker；　like　Father。　Church　is　a　good　atmosphere　for　children…and　gives　me　a　proper　appearance　as　a　respectable　wife　and　mother…that's　all！　'Sin'　would　not　stop　me；　I　don't　believe　in　sin　the　way　the　church　means　it。　Sex　isn't　sin；　sex　is　never　sin。　What　would　stop　me　would　be　a　chance　of　getting　pregnant　by　someone　other　than　Brian…but　I　am　pregnant。　That　you　are　my　half　brother　didn't　cause　…　me　a　woment's　fret；　it　just　made　me　more　anxious　to　tell　you　a　warrior's　good…bye。〃
　　
　　…　〃Maureen；　I'm　not　your　half　brother。〃
　　
　　〃Are　you　sure？　Even　if　you're　not；　you　are　still　my　warrior
　　
　　…I　was　as　proud　as　Father　when　you　volunteered。〃
　　
　　〃I'm　your　warrior；　be　sure　of　that。　But　1　need　to　know　something。　This　man　Nancy　may　marry…　Is　he　a　Howard？'
　　
　　〃What　did　you　say？〃
　　
　　〃Is　he　on　the　approved　list　of　the　Ira　Howard　Foundation？〃
　　
　　He　heard　her　catch　her　breath。　〃Where　did　you　hear　of　the　Foundation？'　…
　　
　　〃'Life　is　short…'〃…　…
　　
　　〃'But　the　years　are　long；'　〃　she　answered。
　　
　　'Not　〃While　the　Evil　Days　e　Not。〃'〃
　　
　　〃Goodness！　I…　I　think…I'm　going　to　cry　again！〃
　　
　　〃Stop　it。　What　is　the　young　man's　name？〃
　　
　　…〃Jonathan　Weatheral。〃
　　
　　〃…of　the　Weatheral…Sperling　line。　Yes；　I　remember。　…Maureen；　I　am…　not　'Ted　Bronson。'　I　am　Lazarus　Long　of　the　Johnson　Family。　Your　family。　I　am　descended　from　you。〃
　　
　　For　…several　moments　she　seemed　not　to　breathe。　Then　she　said　softly；　〃I　think　I　am　losing　my　mind。〃　…
　　
　　〃No；　my　gallant　love；　you　have　as　strong　and　sane　a　mind　as　I　have　ever　met。　Let　me　explain　because　I…　must　tell　you
　　
　　…　something　and　you　must　believe　me。　Have　you　read　a　novel　by　Mr。　Herbert　George　Wells　called　The…　Time　Machine？〃
　　
　　〃Why；　yes。　Father　has　a　copy。〃
　　
　　〃That's　me；　Maureen。　Captain　Lazarus　Long；　Time　Traveler。〃　…
　　
　　〃But　that　book…　I　thought　it　was　just　a　。　。　a…〃　〃Just　a　story。　It　is。　But　it　won't　stay　that　way。　Oh；　not　quite
　　
　　the　way　Mr。　Wells　visualized　it。　But　that's　what　I　am；　a　visitor　from　a　future　time。　I　didn't　intend　to　let　anyone　suspect　this；　that's　why　I　claimed　to　be　a　foundling。　Not　only　is　it　hard　to　psove；　but　any　attempt　would　interfere　with　my　purpose
　　
　　…which　is　simply　to　visit　this　time　and　observe　it。　Might　even
　　
　　…　get　…　me　locked　up　as　crazy。　So　I've　been　careful　to　keep　my　mask　…　on；　as…　careful　as…well；　as　you　are；　In　talking　to　those
　　
　　…　Simpsons。　In　not　letting　your　children　see　you　cry。　You　and　I　do　it　the　same　way。　Audacity　。　。　plus　never　telling　lies　we　can　be　caught　in。〃
　　
　　〃Theodore；　I　think　you　believe　this。〃
　　
　　〃Meaning　that　I　sound　sincere　but　must　be　crazy。〃　〃No；　no；　dear；　I…　Yes；　that's　what　I　meant。　I'm　sorry；〃　〃No　reason　to　be　sorry；　it　does　sound　crazy。　But　I'm　not
　　
　　afraid　that　you　will　have　me　sent　to　St。　Joe；　I'm　as　safe…　with　you　as　you　are　with　me。　But　I　must　find　some　way　to　convince…　you　that　I　am　telling　the　truth　。　。　because　I　am　about
　　
　　…　to　tell　you　something　you　must　believe。　Or　I　have　dropped~　mymask　to　no　point。〃　…
　　
　　He　stopped　to　think。　How　to　prove　it？　ome　prediction？　It　would　have　to　be　very　short　range　to…　serve　the　only　purpose　he　had　in　breaking　cover。　But　he　hadn't　briefed　himself　on
　　
　　this　year；　he　hadn't　intended　to　arrtve　until　1919　and　kneu　so　little　about　the　years　before　1919　that　he　had　even　mixel　up　the　date　that　the　United　States　got　into　…　this　war。　Lazarus　damn　your　sloppy　ways；　the　next　time　you　make　a　time　tril　you're　going　to　memorize　everything　about　the　era　thai
　　
　　…　Athene　can　give　you…and　a　wide　margin　on　both　sides！
　　
　　Woodie's　memories　were　no　help；　Lazarus　did　not　ever　recall　having　been　taken　to　Electric　Park　by　a　sergeant　ir　uniform。　Self…centered　brat！　Electric　Park　he　remembered　Woodie　Smith　had　gone　there　many　times。　But　no　visit　stooc　out　in　his　mind。　…
　　
　　〃Maureen；　maybe　you　can　think　of　some　way　I　can　provc　to　you　that　I'm　from　the　future…something　that　will　con　vince　you。　But　this　is　why　I　had　to　tell　you：　Brian…your　hus~　band；　my　ancestor…will　e　back　unharmed。　He's　going　tc　go　through　battles。　Shells　will　fall　around　him；　shots　wif　whistle　past　his　ears…but　none　will　touch　him。〃
　　
　　Mrs。　Smi~gasped。　Then　she　said　slowly；　〃Theodore　h~doyouk~v1〃
　　
　　〃Because　you　two　are　my　ancestors。　I　couldn't　memorize　the　Foundation's　records　on　all　the　Howards　…of　today　but　I　did　study　the　files　on　my　own　ancestors；　ones　I　might　have　a　chance　to　meet。　You。　Brian。　Brian's　parents　in　Cincinnati。　And　I　figured　out　that　Brian　must　have　met　you　because　he　had　attended　Rolla；　then　found　you　on　a　Missouri　list　of　eligibles…not　the　Ohio　list…that　the　Foundation　gave　him。　That's　certainly　something　I　didn't　learn　from　you　or　Brian　or　Ira；　and　your　children　probably　don't　know　it。　Well；　perhaps　Nancy　does；　she's　fflle4　out　her　own　questionnaire。　Hasn't　she？〃
　　
　　〃Why；　yes；　months　ago。　Then　it　is　true；　Theodore。　Or　should　I　call　you　'Lazarus'？〃
　　
　　〃Call　me　anything~you　like；　darling。　But　I　still　haven't　proved　anything。　Just　that　I　have　had　access　to　the　Foundation's　files…which　might　have　been　last　year；　not　in　the　future。　We're　still　looking　for　proof。　Mmm　。　。　I　know　a　proof　for　a　few　months　from　now…but　I　must　make　you　believe　me　tonight。　So　you　will　have　no　more　tears　on　your　pillow。　And　I　don't　know　how。〃
　　
　　He　caressed　her　thighs；　tpuched　her　curls。　〃Here　inside　you　is　proof　that　won't　show　up　in　time。　This　last　baby　Brian　put　into　your　sweet　belly…　He's　a　boy；　dearest　ancestress；　and　you　and　Brian　will　name　him　'Theodore　Ira'…whi~h~　flatters　me　enormously。　When　I　read　his　name　in　the　records；　I　didn't
　　
　　…　know　that　he　was　my　namesake；…as　I　hadn't　picked　my　assumed　name　then。〃
　　
　　She　squeezed　his　hand　with　her　thighs　and　sighed。　〃I　want　to　believe　you。　But　suppose　Brian　wants　to　name　him　Joseph？　Or　Josephine？〃
　　
　　〃'Josephine'　is　not　a　name　for　a　boy。　Darling；　Brian　will　name　his　war　baby　for　the　other　two　stars　on　your　service　flag；　this　war　means　a　lot　to　him。　He'll　probably　suggest　it　himself
　　
　　…I　don't　know。　I　just　know　that　'Theodore　Ira'　is　the　name　you　will　register　with　the…　Foundation。　My　other　ancestors…　Adele　Johnson；　of　course；　your　mother　and　Ira's　wife。　Lives　in　St。　Louis。　Left　him　around　the　time　you　got　married　but　didn't　divorce　him…which　probably　irked　him；　I　don't　think　Ira　is　a　man　to　be　celibate　simply　because　his　wife　leaves　but　won't　turn　him　loose。〃
　　
　　〃He's　not；　d