the days of my life-第8章

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ed　on　the　ground；　the　public　statues　were　splashed　over　with　the　lead　of　bullets；　and　great　burnt…out　buildings　stared　at　me　emptily。　I　remembered　a　young　Frenchman　whom　I　knew　taking　me　to　a　spot　backed　by　a　high　wall　where　shortly　before　he　had　seen；　I　think　he　said；　300　munists　executed　at　once。　He　told　me　that　the　soldiers　fired　into　the　moving　heap　until　at　length　it　grew　still。　On　the　wall　were　the　marks　of　their　bullets。
At　Tours　I　did　not　live　with　my　family；　but　with　an　old　French　professor　and　his　wife　—　I　think　their　name　was　Demeste　—　in　order　that　I　might　pursue　my　studies　of　the　language。
Whilst　I　was　at　Tours；　making　expeditions　with　the　others　to　see　old　castles　and　so　forth；　my　father　saw　in　the　Times；　or　heard　otherwise；　that　Sir　Henry　Bulwer　had　been　appointed　to　the　Lieutenant…Governorship　of　Natal。　Now　my　father　was　a　man　of　ideas　who　never　lost　a　chance　of　finding　an　opening　for　one　of　his　sons；　and　the　Bulwers　of　Heydon　in　Norfolk　were；　as　it　happened；　old　friends　of　our　family。　So　he　wrote　off　at　once　and　asked　Sir　Henry　if　he　would　take　me　with　him　to　Africa　on　his　staff。　Sir　Henry　assented；　which　was　extremely　kind　of　him；　as　I　do　not　remember　that　he　had　ever　set　eyes　on　me。
Accordingly　in　a　week　or　two　Scoones’　and　the　Foreign　Office　had　faded　into　the　past；　and　I　reported　myself　to　my　future　chief　in　London；　where　he　set　me　to　work　at　once　ordering　wine　and　other　stores　to　be　consumed　at　Government　House　in　Natal。
Chapter　3　NATAL
Leave　for　South　Africa　with　Sir　Henry　Bulwer　—　Arrive　Cape　Town　—　Government　House　—　Lady　Barkly　—　Bishop　Colenso　—　Go　on　to　Durban　—　Then　to　Pietermaritzburg　—　Reception　of　Sir　H。　Bulwer　there　—　Sir　George　Colley　—　Duties　of　H。　R。　H。　at　Government　House　—　Buck…hunting　—　Journey　up…country　to　Weenen　—　Zulu　customs　—　Witch…finding　—　Pagate’s　kraal　—　Great　native　war…dance　—　Lost　in　bush　—　Saved　by　Kaffir　—　More　about　Bishop　Colenso　—　Sir　Theophilus　Shepstone　—　His　friendship　for　H。　R。　H。　—　His　character　and　policy　—　Captain　Cox。
Here　I　ought　to　say　a　few　words　about　Sir　Henry　Bulwer；　who；　I　am　glad　to　say；　is　still　living；　and　whom　I　often　meet　at　the　Athenaeum　Club。　Indeed；　within　the　last　few　months　he　has　read　a　book　of　mine　named　“Marie”　in　proof；　which　book　I　have　dedicated　to　him。　I　was　anxious　that　he　should　read　it；　for　he　is　an　old　man；　and　who　knows　whether　he　will　be　alive　when　it　is　published　a　year　or　so　hence！
For　Sir　Henry　Bulwer　I　have　and　always　shall　retain　the　greatest　affection　and　regard；　indeed；　he　is　my　beau…ideal　of　what　an　English　gentleman　should　be。　Also　his　kindness　to　me　was　great。　When　first　I　know　him　some　thirty…six　years　ago；　he　was　about　forty；　and　an　extremely　able　public　servant；　who　had　received　his　training　in　various　Colonial　appointments。　He　was　most　painstaking　and　careful　in　all　his　methods；　but　to　me　his　weak　point　seemed　to　be　that　he　always　saw　so　much　of　both　sides　of　the　case　that　he　found　it　difficult　to　make　up　his　mind　which　of　them　he　ought　to　follow。
My　farewells　were　hurried。　I　find　among　the　few　documents　that　I　have　preserved　of　this　period　one　from　my　mother　which　is　signed　by　all　the　members　of　the　family　who　were　at　Tours；　wishing　me　good　fortune　and　good…bye。　Also　—　and　this　is　more　valuable　—　there　is　a　copy　of　some　verses　which　she　addressed　to　me。　These　I　quote　below。
TO　MY　SON　RIDER
（On　leaving　home。　July　1875）
And　thus；　my　son；　adown　Life’s　vernal　tide
？Light　drifting；　hast　thou　reached　her　troublous　sea；
Where　never　more　thy　bark　may　idly　glide；
？But　shape　her　course　to　gain　the　far　To　be！
Rise　to　thy　destiny！　Awake　thy　powers！
？Mid　throng　of　men　enact　the　man’s　full　part！
No　more　with　mists　of　doubt　dim　golden　hours；
？But　with　strong　Being　fill　thine　eager　heart！
Nieen　short　summers　o’er　thy　youthful　head
？Have　shone　and　ripened　as　they　flitted　by：
May　their　rich　fruit　o’er　ing　years　be　shed；
？And　make　God’s　gift　of　life　a　treasury。
That　Life　is　granted；　not　in　Pleasure’s　round；
？Or　even　Love’s　sweet　dream；　to　lapse　content：
Duty　and　Faith　are　words　of　solemn　sound；
？And　to　their　echoes　must　thy　soul　be　bent。
Conscience　shall　hallow　all；　grant　noble　aim；
？And　firm　resolve　the　paths　of　vice　to　shun；
And　haply；　in　reward；　Love’s　lambent　flame
？Through　storms　of　life　shall　shine；　like　Earth’s　fair　sun！
But　a　few　days：　and　far　across　the　flood；
？To　stranger　lands　with　strangers　wilt　thou　roam；
Yet　shall　not　absence　loose　the　bonds　of　blood；
？Or　still　the　voices　of　thy　distant　home。
So；　go　thy　way；　my　Child！　I　love　thee　well：
？How　well；　no　heart　but　mother’s　heart　may　know　—
Yet　One　loves　better；　—　more　than　words　can　tell；　—
？Then　trust　Him；　now　and　evermore；　—　and　go！
Ella　Haggard。
July　16；　1875。
I　think　them　beautiful　lines。　Moreover　they　are　typical　of　the　writer。
Duty　and　Faith　are　words　of　solemn　sound；
Well；　duty　and　faith　were　the　stars　by　which　she　guided　her　own　life。
Of　our　voyage　to　Africa　there　is　little　to　be　said　except　that　in　those　days　it　was　long。　On　arriving　at　Cape　Town　we　went　to　Government　House；　where　we　stayed　for　about　a　week　with　Lady　Barkly。
Government　House　is；　or　was；　a　large；　quaint　old　place　—　I　have　not　seen　it　from　that　day　to　this　—　which　had　the　reputation　of　being　haunted　by　a　certain　Grey　Lady　who　had　lived　there　generations　before　in　the　old　Dutch　days。
Since　these　chapters　were　written　some　letters　of　mind　have　been　found　at　Bradenham。　From　one　of　these；　dealing　with　my　arrival　in　South　Africa；　I　e　passages：
Government　House
Cape　Town：　August　18；　1875。
My　dear　Father；　—　You　will　see　from　the　heading　of　my　letter　that　I　have　arrived　all　safe　at　Cape　Town。　We　have　not　made　a　very　quick　passage；　nor　yet　a　very　slow　one。　。　。　。　Among　other　things　we　got　up　a　sort　of　penny　reading　on　board；　for　which　I　wrote　the　Prologue。　I　also　had　a　good　deal　of　work　to　do；　getting　up　all　the　Langalibalele　case　and　extracting　the　pith　from　a　mass　of　blue…books。　It　is　not　easy　to　get　at　the　truth　when　it　is　hedged　round　by　such　a　mass　of　contradictory　evidence。　However　the　whole　affair　is　rather　interesting；　inasmuch　as　it　gives　you　an　idea　of　the　tremendous　state　of　ferment　and　excitement　the　Colony　was　and　still　is　in　。　。　。　。
We　arrived　here　early　yesterday　morning；　expecting　to　find　Sir　Gar　Wolseley　waiting　for　us；　but　he　has　not　yet　returned　from　Natal；　which　is　very　awkward；　as　we　do　not　know　whether　to　wait　for　him　or　to　go　on　and　meet　him　there。　。　。　。
I　am　getting　on　all　right；　though　my　position　is　not　an　easy　one。　I　find　myself　responsible　for　everything；　and　everybody　es　and　bothers　me。　However　it　all　es　in　the　day’s　work。　I　don’t　know　yet　if　I　am　private　secretary；　but　I　suppose　I　am　as　nobody　else　has　appeared。　I　make　a　good　many　blunders；　but　still　I　think　I　get　on　very　well　on　the　whole。　I　expect　I　shall　have　a　tremendous　lot　of　work　at　Natal　as　the　Chief　told　me　that　he　was　going　to　entertain　a　good　deal；　and　all　that　will　fall　on　my　shoulders　in　addition　to　business。　We　are　very　good　friends　and　shall；　I　think；　continue　to　be　so；　as　he　is　not　a　captious　or　changeable　man。　。　。　。　Beaumont；　who　was　secretary　to　Pine　（the　late　Governor　of　Natal）；　puts　me　up　to　a　lot　of　things；　he　is　an　excessively　nice　fellow　and　we　are　great　allies　。　。　。　。
The　merchants　of　Cape　Town　give　a　ball　tomorrow　night　to　which　I　am　invited。　It　will　be　a　good　opportunity　of　studying　the　Cape　Town　aristocracy。　I　have　just　returned　from　calling　on　the　Bishop。　The　Barklys　have　a　first…rate　four…inhand　and　we　went　through　a　beautiful　country；　so　our　drive　was　a　pleasant　one。　I　like　the　Bishop　very　much。　He　is　a　thorough　specimen　of　muscular　Christianity。　。　。　。　This　continual　influx　of　strangers　has　a　very　depressing　effect。　There　is　another　big　dinner　on　to…night；　and　there　won’t　be　a　soul　I　know　among　them　unless　Beaumont　es；　which　I　devoutly　hope　he　will。　All　these　new　faces　that　you　don’t　know　make　you　think　of　the　old　ones　that　you　do　know。　。　。　。　I　hope　that　you　are　quite　well　now；　my　dear　Father；　and　that　you　do　not　miss　me　as　much　as　I　do　you。
I　remain；　with　best　love　to　all；
Ever　your　most　affectionate　and　dutiful　son；
H。　Rider　Haggard　（or　“Waggart”　as　they　put　my　name
in　the　paper）。
My　mother　will　pity　me　when　I　tell　her　that　I’ve　got　to　get　servants。　Where　on　earth　am　I　to　find　servants；　and　who　am　I　to　ask　about　them？
Now　before　we　go　on　to　Natal　where　the　real　business　of　my　life　began；　I　will　stop　for　a　moment　to　take　stock　of　myself　as　I　was　in　those　days　at　the　age　of　nieen。
I　was　a　tall　young　fellow；　quite　six　feet；　and　slight；　blue…eyed；　brown…haired；　fresh…plexioned；　and　not　at　all　bad…looking。　The　Zulus　gave　me　the　name　of　“Indanda；”　which　meant；　I　believe；　one　who　is　tall　and　pleasant…natured。　Mentally　I　was　impressionable；　quick　to　observe　and　learn　whatever　interested　me；　and　could　already　hold　my　own　in　conversation。　Also；　if　necessary；　I　could　make　a　public　speech。　I　was；　however；　subject　to　fits　of　depression　and　liable　to　take　views　of　things　too　serious　and　gloomy　for　my　age　—　failings；　I　may　add；　that　I　have　never　been　able　to　shake　off。　Even　then　I　had　the　habit　of　looking　beneath　the　surface　of　characters　and　events；　and　of　trying　to　get　at　their　springs　and　causes。　I　liked　to　understand　any　country　or　society　in　which　I　found　myself。　I　despised　those　who　merely　floated　on　the　stream　of　life　and　never　tried　to　dive　into　its　depths。　Yet　in　some　ways　I　think　I　was　rather　indolent；　that　is　if　the　task　in　hand　bored　me。　I　was　ambitious　and　conscious　of　certain　powers；　but　wanted　to　climb　the　tree　of　success　too　quickly　—　a　proceeding　that　generally　results　in　slips。
Further；　my　eldest　sister；　Ella　（Mrs。　Maddison　Green）；　informed　me　only　a　month　or　two　ago　that　at　this　period　I　was　conceited。　Possibly　I　may　have　been；　for　I　had　been　living　in　a　very　forcing　atmosphere　where　I　was　made　too　much　of　by　some　of　my　elders。
Four　or　five　days’　steaming　along　the　green　and　beautiful　coasts　of　south…eastern　Africa；　on　which　the　great　rollers　break　continually；　brought　us　to　Port　Natal。　At　that　time　the　Durban　harbour　was　not　sufficiently　dredged　to　admit　sea…going　vessels；　and　I　think　we　had　some　difficulty　in　landing。　There　was　a　reception　mittee　which　presented　an　address　of　wele　to　the　Lieutenant…Governor；　and　I　remember　hurriedly　copying　his　answer　as　the　ship　rolled　off　the　Point。
Sir　Gar　Wolseley　had　been　sent　to　Natal　as　temporary　Governor　to　settle　certain　matters　connected　with　its　constitution。　I　think　that　at　that　time　he　had　left　the　Colony　himself；　though　of　this　I　am　not　quite　sure；　as　I　am　unable　to　remember　when　I　first　spoke　to　him。　In　after　life　I　met　him　on　several　occasions。　Especially　do　I　remember　a　long　talk　with　him　at　a　dinner…party　at　the　house　of　the　Bischoffheims　in　London　some　time　in　the　eighties。　He　was　a　small；　bright…eyed；　quick…brained　man　who　expressed　his　views　upon　the　public　matters　of　the　day　with　a　fierceness　and　a　vigour　that　were　quite　astonishing。　We　sat　together　at　the　table　after　all　the　other　guests　had　left　to　join　the　ladies；　and　I　reflected　that　he　must　have　had　singular　confidence　in　my　character　to　say　the　things　he　did　to　me。　However；　it　was　justified；　for　of　course　I　never　repeated　a　word。
Those　of　the　Staff　whom　I　recollect　are；　or　were　—　for　I　think　they　are　now　all　dead　—　Lord　Gifford；　Colonel　（afterwards　Sir　Henry）　Brackenbury；　and　Major　（afterwards　Sir　William）　Butler。　Of　these　the　one　who　impressed　himself　most　deeply　upon　my　mind　was　Butler。　He　was　a　most　agreeable　and　sympathetic　man；　who　took　the　trouble　to　talk　a　good　deal　to　me；　although　I　was　but　a　lad。　I　recall　that　with　much　graphic　detail　he　told　me　the　story　of　how；　when　he　was　suffering　from　fever；　he　was　nearly　thrown　overboard　as　a　dead　man　off　the　West　Coast　of　Africa；　where　he　had　been　serving　in　the　Ashanti　Expedition。　Recently　I　have　been　reading　his　very　interesting　and　remarkable　autobiography；　in　which　I　see　he　describes　this　incident。
Subsequently　—　but　I　think　this　was　at　Pietermaritzburg　—　I　became　well　acquainted　with　Colonel　（afterwards　Sir　George）　Colley。　He　stayed　with　us　at　Government　House　and　I　remember　a　curious　little　incident　concerning　him。
He　was　leaving　Natal　and　wished　to　sell　a　shot…gun　which　I　wished　to　purchase；　though　I　am　not　sure　whether　this　was　on　my　account　or　on　that　of　Sir　Henry　Bulwer。　We　had　a　difference　of　opinion　as　to　the　price　of　the　article。　Finally　I　interviewed　him　one　morning　when　he　was　taking　his　bath；　and　he　suggested　that　we　should　settle　the　matter　by　tossing。　This　I　did　with　a　half…sovereign；　he　giving　the　call；　but　who　won　I　forget。
Of　my　last　tragic　meeting　with　poor　Colley　at　the　time　of　the　first　Boer　War　I　may　speak　later　in　this　book。
After　a　short　stay　at　Durban　we　proceeded　to　Maritzburg；　the　seat　of　government；　in　some　kind　of　a　horse　conveyance；　as；　except　for　a　short　time　on　the　coast；　there　was　then　no　railway　in　Natal。　In　those　days　it　was　a　charming　town　of　the　ordinary　Dutch　character；　with　wide　streets　bordered　by　sluits　of　running　water　and　planted　with　gum　trees。
Of　the　year　or　so　that　I　spent　in　Natal　I　have　not　much　to　say　that　is　worthy　of　record。　The　country　impressed　me　enormously。　Indeed；　on　the　whole　I　think　it　the　most　beautiful　of　any　that　I　have　seen　in　the　world；　parts　of　Mexico　alone　excepted。　The