little dorrit-信丽(英文版)-第136章

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disabled　feet。　'If　Gilbert　Clennam；　reduced　to　imbecility；　at　the　point
of　death；　and　labouring　under　the　delusion　of　some　imaginary　relenting
towards　a　girl　of　whom　he　had　heard　that　his　nephew　had　once　had　a　fancy
for　her　which　he　had　crushed　out　of　him；　and　that　she　afterwards　drooped
away　into　melancholy　and　withdrawal　from　all　who　knew　her……if；　in　that
state　of　weakness；　he　dictated　to　me；　whose　life　she　had　darkened　with
her　sin；　and　who　had　been　appointed　to　know　her　wickedness　from　her
own　hand　and　her　opense　to　her
for　supposed　unmerited　suffering；　was　there　no　difference　between　my
spurning　that　injustice；　and　coveting　mere　money……a　thing　which　you；　and
your　rades　in　the　prisons；　may　steal　from　anyone？'

'Time　presses；　madame。　Take　care！'


'If　this　house　was　blazing　from　the　roof　to　the　ground；'　she　returned；
'I　would　stay　in　it　to　justify　myself　against　my　righteous　motives　being
classed　with　those　of　stabbers　and　thieves。'

Rigaud　snapped　his　fingers　tauntingly　in　her　face。　'One　thousand　guineas
to　the　little　beauty　you　slowly　hunted　to　death。　One　thousand　guineas
to　the　youngest　daughter　her　patron　might　have　at　fifty；　or　（if　he
had　none）　brother's　youngest　daughter；　on　her　ing　of　age；　〃as　the
remembrance　his　disinterestedness　may　like　best；　of　his　protection　of
a　friendless　young　orphan　girl。〃　Two　thousand　guineas。　What！　You　will
never　e　to　the　money？'

'That　patron；'　she　was　vehemently　proceeding；　when　he　checked　her。

'Names！　Call　him　Mr　Frederick　Dorrit。　No　more　evasions。'

'That　Frederick　Dorrit　was　the　beginning　of　it　all。　If　he　had　not　been
a　player　of　music；　and　had　not　kept；　in　those　days　of　his　youth　and
prosperity；　an　idle　house　where　singers；　and　players；　and　such…like
children　of　Evil　turned　their　backs　on　the　Light　and　their　faces　to　the
Darkness；　she　might　have　remained　in　her　lowly　station；　and　might　not
have　been　raised　out　of　it　to　be　cast　down。　But；　no。　Satan　entered　into
that　Frederick　Dorrit；　and　counselled　him　that　he　was　a　man　of　innocent
and　laudable　tastes　who　did　kind　actions；　and　that　here　was　a　poor　girl
with　a　voice　for　singing　music　with。　Then　he　is　to　have　her　taught。　Then
Arthur's　father；　who　has　all　along　been　secretly　pining　in　the　ways　of
virtuous　ruggedness　for　those　accursed　snares　which　are　called　the　Arts；
bees　acquainted　with　her。　And　so；　a　graceless　orphan；　training　to　be
a　singing　girl；　carries　it；　by　that　Frederick　Dorrit's　agency；　against
me；　and　I　am　humbled　and　deceived！……Not　I；　that　is　to　say；'　she　added
quickly；　as　colour　flushed　into　her　face；　'a　greater　than　I。　What　am　I？'

Jeremiah　Flintwinch；　who　had　been　gradually　screwing　himself　towards
her；　and　who　was　now　very　near　her　elbow　without　her　knowing　it；　made　a
specially　wry　face　of　objection　when　she　said　these　words；　and　moreover
twitched　his　gaiters；　as　if　such　pretensions　were　equivalent　to　little
barbs　in　his　legs。

'Lastly；'　she　continued；　'for　I　am　at　the　end　of　these　things；　and　I
will　say　no　more　of　them；　and　you　shall　say　no　more　of　them；　and　all
that　remains　will　be　to　determine　whether　the　knowledge　of　them　can
be　kept　among　us　who　are　here　present；　lastly；　when　I　suppressed　that
paper；　with　the　knowledge　of　Arthur's　father……'

'But　not　with　his　consent；　you　know；'　said　Mr　Flintwinch。

'Who　said　with　his　consent？'　She　started　to　find　Jeremiah　so　near　her；
and　drew　back　her　head；　looking　at　him　with　some　rising　distrust。　'You
were　often　enough　between　us　when　he　would　have　had　me　produce　it　and
I　would　not；　to　have　contradicted　me　if　I　had　said；　with　his　consent。　I
say；　when　I　suppressed　that　paper；　I　made　no　effort　to　destroy　it；　but
kept　it　by　me；　here　in　this　house；　many　years。　The　rest　of　the　Gilbert
property　being　left　to　Arthur's　father；　I　could　at　any　time；　without
unsettling　more　than　the　two　sums；　have　made　a　pretence　of　finding
it。　But；　besides　that　I　must　have　supported　such　pretence　by　a　direct
falsehood　（a　great　responsibility）；　I　have　seen　no　new　reason；　in
all　the　time　I　have　been　tried　here；　to　bring　it　to　light。　It　was　a
rewarding　of　sin；　the　wrong　result　of　a　delusion。　I　did　what　I　was
appointed　to　do；　and　I　have　undergone；　within　these　four　walls；　what
I　was　appointed　to　undergo。　When　the　paper　was　at　last　destroyed……as
I　thought……in　my　presence；　she　had　long　been　dead；　and　her　patron；
Frederick　Dorrit；　had　long　been　deservedly　ruined　and　imbecile。　He　had
no　daughter。　I　had　found　the　niece　before　then；　and　what　I　did　for　her；
was　better　for　her　far　than　the　money　of　which　she　would　have　had　no
good。'　She　added；　after　a　moment；　as　though　she　addressed　the　watch：
'She　herself　was　innocent；　and　I　might　not　have　forgotten　to　relinquish
it　to　her　at　my　death：'　and　sat　looking　at　it。

'Shall　I　recall　something　to　you；　worthy　madame？'　said　Rigaud。　'The
little　paper　was　in　this　house　on　the　night　when　our　friend　the
prisoner……jail…rade　of　my　soul……came　home　from　foreign　countries。
Shall　I　recall　yet　something　more　to　you？　The　little　singing…bird
that　never　was　fledged；　was　long　kept　in　a　cage　by　a　guardian　of　your
appointing；　well　enough　known　to　our　old　intriguer　here。　Shall　we　coax
our　old　intriguer　to　tell　us　when　he　saw　him　last？'

'I'll　tell　you！'　cried　Affery；　unstopping　her　mouth。　'I　dreamed　it；
first　of　all　my　dreams。　Jeremiah；　if　you　e　a…nigh　me　now；　I'll　scream
to　be　heard　at　St　Paul's！　The　person　as　this　man　has　spoken　of；　was
jeremiah's　own　twin　brother；　and　he　was　here　in　the　dead　of　the　night；
on　the　night　when　Arthur　e　home；　and　Jeremiah　with　his　own　hands　give
him　this　paper；　along　with　I　don't　know　what　more；　and　he　took　it　away
in　an　iron　box……Help！　Murder！　Save　me　from　Jere…mi…ah！'

Mr　Flintwinch　had　made　a　run　at　her；　but　Rigaud　had　caught　him　in　his
arms　midway。　After　a　moment's　wrestle　with　him；　Flintwinch　gave　up；　and
put　his　hands　in　his　pockets。

'What！'　cried　Rigaud；　rallying　him　as　he　poked　and　jerked　him　back　with
his　elbows；　'assault　a　lady　with　such　a　genius　for　dreaming！　Ha；　ha；　ha！
Why；　she'll　be　a　fortune　to　you　as　an　exhibition。　All　that　she　dreams
es　true。　Ha；　ha；　ha！　You're　so　like　him；　Little　Flintwinch。　So　like
him；　as　I　knew　him　（when　I　first　spoke　English　for　him　to　the　host）　in
the　Cabaret　of　the　Three　Billiard　Tables；　in　the　little　street　of　the
high　roofs；　by　the　wharf　at　Antwerp！　Ah；　but　he　was　a　brave　boy　to
drink。　Ah；　but　he　was　a　brave　boy　to　smoke！　Ah；　but　he　lived　in　a　sweet
bachelor…apartment……furnished；　on　the　fifth　floor；　above　the　wood　and
charcoal　merchant's；　and　the　dress…maker's；　and　the　chair…maker's；　and
the　maker　of　tubs……where　I　knew　him　too；　and　wherewith　his　cognac　and
tobacco；　he　had　twelve　sleeps　a　day　and　one　fit；　until　he　had　a　fit　too
much；　and　ascended　to　the　skies。　Ha；　ha；　ha！　What　does　it　matter　how　I
took　possession　of　the　papers　in　his　iron　box？　Perhaps　he　confided　it
to　my　hands　for　you；　perhaps　it　was　locked　and　my　curiosity　was　piqued；
perhaps　I　suppressed　it。　Ha；　ha；　ha！　What　does　it　matter；　so　that　I
have　it　safe？　We　are　not　particular　here；　hey；　Flintwinch？　We　are　not
particular　here；　is　it　not　so；　madame？'

Retiring　before　him　with　vicious　counter…jerks　of　his　own　elbows；　Mr
Flintwinch　had　got　back　into　his　corner；　where　he　now　stood　with　his
hands　in　his　pockets；　taking　breath；　and　returning　Mrs　Clennam's　stare。
'Ha；　ha；　ha！　But　what's　this？'　cried　Rigaud。　'It　appears　as　if　you
don't　know；　one　the　other。　Permit　me；　Madame　Clennam　who　suppresses；　to
present　Monsieur　Flintwinch　who　intrigues。'

Mr　Flintwinch；　unpocketing　one　of　his　hands　to　scrape　his　jaw；　advanced
a　step　or　so　in　that　attitude；　still　returning　Mrs　Clennam's　look；　and
thus　addressed　her：

'Now；　I　know　what　you　mean　by　opening　your　eyes　so　wide　at　me；　but　you
needn't　take　the　trouble；　because　I　don't　care　for　it。　I've　been　telling
you　for　how　many　years　that　you're　one　of　the　most　opinionated　and
obstinate　of　women。　That's　what　YOU　are。　You　call　yourself　humble　and
sinful；　but　you　are　the　most　Bumptious　of　your　sex。　That's　what　YOU　are。
I　have　told　you；　over　and　over　again　when　we　have　had　a　tiff；　that　you
wanted　to　make　everything　go　down　before　you；　but　I　wouldn't　go　down
before　you……that　you　wanted　to　swallow　up　everybody　alive；　but　I
wouldn't　be　swallowed　up　alive。　Why　didn't　you　destroy　the　paper　when
you　first　laid　hands　upon　it？

I　advised　you　to；　but　no；　it's　not　your　way　to　take　advice。　You　must
keep　it　forsooth。　Perhaps　you　may　carry　it　out　at　some　other　time；
forsooth。　As　if　I　didn't　know　better　than　that！　I　think　I　see　your　pride
carrying　it　out；　with　a　chance　of　being　suspected　of　having　kept　it　by
you。　But　that's　the　way　you　cheat　yourself。　Just　as　you　cheat　yourself
into　making　out　that　you　didn't　do　all　this　business　because　you　were　a
rigorous　woman；　all　slight；　and　spite；　and　power；　and　unforgiveness；　but
because　you　were　a　servant　and　a　minister；　and　were　appointed　to　do　it。
Who　are　you；　that　you　should　be　appointed　to　do　it？　That　may　be　your
religion；　but　it's　my　gammon。　And　to　tell　you　all　the　truth　while　I
am　about　it；'　said　Mr　Flintwinch；　crossing　his　arms；　and　being　the
express　image　of　irascible　doggedness；　'I　have　been　rasped……rasped　these
forty　years……by　your　taking　such　high　ground　even　with　me；　who　knows
better；　the　effect　of　it　being　coolly　to　put　me　on　low　ground。　I　admire
you　very　much；　you　are　a　woman　of　strong　head　and　great　talent；　but
the　strongest　head；　and　the　greatest　talent；　can't　rasp　a　man　for　forty
years　without　making　him　sore。　So　I　don't　care　for　your　present　eyes。
Now；　I　am　ing　to　the　paper；　and　mark　what　I　say。　You　put　it　away
somewhere；　and　you　kept　your　own　counsel　where。　You're　an　active　woman
at　that　time；　and　if　you　want　to　get　that　paper；　you　can　get　it。　But；
mark。　There　es　a　time　when　you　are　struck　into　what　you　are　now；　and
then　if　you　want　to　get　that　paper；　you　can't　get　it。　So　it　lies；　long
years；　in　its　hiding…place。　At　last；　when　we　are　expecting　Arthur　home
every　day；　and　when　any　day　may　bring　him　home；　and　it's　impossible　to
say　what　rummaging　he　may　make　about　the　house；　I　remend　you　five
thousand　times；　if　you　can't　get　at　it；　to　let　me　get　at　it；　that　it　may
be　put　in　the　fire。　But　no……no　one　but　you　knows　where　it　is；　and　that's
power；　and；　call　yourself　whatever　humble　names　you　will；　I　call　you　a
female　Lucifer　in　appetite　for　power！　On　a　Sunday　night；　Arthur　es
home。　He　has　not　been　in　this　room　ten　minutes；　when　he　speaks　of　his
father's　watch。　You　know　very　well　that　the　Do　Not　Forget；　at　the　time
when　his　father　sent　that　watch　to　you；　could　only　mean；　the　rest　of　the
story　being　then　all　dead　and　over；　Do　Not　Forget　the　suppression。　Make
restitution！　Arthur's　ways　have　frightened　you　a　bit；　and　the　paper
shall　be　burnt　after　all。　So；　before　that　jumping　jade　and　Jezebel；'　Mr
Flintwinch　grinned　at　his　wife；　'has　got　you　into　bed；　you　at　last　tell
me　where　you　have　put　the　paper；　among　the　old　ledgers　in　the　cellars；
where　Arthur　himself　went　prowling　the　very　next　morning。　But　it's　not
to　be　burnt　on　a　Sunday　night。　No；　you　are　strict；　you　are；　we　must　wait
over　twelve　o'clock；　and　get　into　Monday。　Now；　all　this　is　a　swallowing
of　me　up　alive　that　rasps　me；　so；　feeling　a　little　out　of　temper；　and
not　being　as　strict　as　yourself；　I　take　a　look　at　the　document　before
twelve　o'clock　to　refresh　my　memory　as　to　its　appearance……fold　up　one　of
the　many　yellow　old　papers　in　the　cellars　like　it……and　afterwards；　when
we　have　got　into　Monday　morning；　and　I　have；　by　the　light　of　your
lamp；　to　walk　from　you；　lying　on　that　bed；　to　this　grate；　make　a　little
exchange　like　the　conjuror；　and　burn　accordingly。　My　brother
Ephraim；　the　lunatic…keeper　（I　wish　he　had　had　himself　to　keep　in　a
strait…waistcoat）；　had　had　many　jobs　since　the　close　of　the　long　job　he
got　from　you；　but　had　not　done　well。　His　wife　died　（not　that　that
was　much；　mine　might　have　died　instead；　and　wele）；　he　speculated
unsuccessfully　in　lunatics；　he　got　into　difficulty　about　over…roasting
a　patient　to　bring　him　to　reason；　and　he　got　into　debt。　He　was　going　out
of　the　way；　on　what　he　had　been　able　to　scrape　up；　and　a　trifle　from　me。
He　was　here　that　early　Monday　morning；　waiting　for　the　tide；　in　short；
he　was　going　to　Antwerp；　where　（I　am　afraid　you'll　be　shocked　at
my　saying；　And　be　damned　to　him！）　he　made　the　acquaintance　of　this
gentleman。　He　had　e　a　long　way；　and；　I　thought　then；　was　only　sleepy；
but；　I　suppose　now；　was　drunk。　When　Arthur's　mother　had　been　under
the　care　of　him　and　his　wife；　she　had　been　always　writing；　incessantly
writing；……mostly　letters　of　confession　to　you；　and　Prayers　for
forgiveness。　My　brother　had　handed；　from　time　to　time；　lots　of　these
sheets　to　me。　I　thought　I　might　as　well　keep　them　to　myself　as　have　them
swallowed　up　alive　too；　so　I　kept　them　in　a　box；　looking　over　them　when
I　felt　in　the　humour。　Convinced　that　it　was　advisable　to　get　the　paper
out　of　the　place；　with　Arthur　ing　about　it；　I　put　it　into　this　same
box；　and　I　locked　the　whole　up　with　two　locks；　and　I　trusted　it　to　my
brother　to　take　away　and　keep；　till　I　should　write　about　it。　I　did　write
about　it；　and　never　got　an　answer。　I　didn't　know　what　to　make　of　it；
till　this　gentleman　favoured　us　with　his　first　visit。　Of　course；　I　began
to　suspect　how　it　was；