little dorrit-信丽(英文版)-第41章

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fully。　'e　back　by　all　means。'

He　seemed　to　be　dozing　when　she　returned；　and　she　put　the　low　fire
together　very　softly　lest　she　should　awake　him。　But　he　overheard　her；
and　called　out　who　was　that？

'Only　Amy；　father。'

'Amy；　my　child；　e　here。　I　want　to　say　a　word　to　you。'　He　raised
himself　a　little　in　his　low　bed；　as　she　kneeled　beside　it　to　bring　her
face　near　him；　and　put　his　hand　between　hers。　O！　Both　the　private　father
and　the　Father　of　the　Marshalsea　were　strong　within　him　then。

'My　love；　you　have　had　a　life　of　hardship　here。　No　panions；　no
recreations；　many　cares　I　am　afraid？'

'Don't　think　of　that；　dear。　I　never　do。'

'You　know　my　position；　Amy。　I　have　not　been　able　to　do　much　for　you；　but
all　I　have　been　able　to　do；　I　have　done。'

'Yes；　my　dear　father；'　she　rejoined；　kissing　him。　'I　know；　I　know。'

'I　am　in　the　twenty…third　year　of　my　life　here；'　he　said；　with　a　catch
in　his　breath　that　was　not　so　much　a　sob　as　an　irrepressible　sound　of
self…approval；　the　momentary　outburst　of　a　noble　consciousness。　'It　is
all　I　could　do　for　my　children……I　have　done　it。　Amy；　my　love；　you　are
by　far　the　best　loved　of　the　three；　I　have　had　you　principally　in　my
mind……whatever　I　have　done　for　your　sake；　my　dear　child；　I　have　done
freely　and　without　murmuring。'

Only　the　wisdom　that　holds　the　clue　to　all　hearts　and　all　mysteries；　can
surely　know　to　what　extent　a　man；　especially　a　man　brought　down　as　this
man　had　been；　can　impose　upon　himself。　Enough；　for　the　present　place；
that　he　lay　down　with　wet　eyelashes；　serene；　in　a　manner　majestic；　after
bestowing　his　life　of　degradation　as　a　sort　of　portion　on　the　devoted
child　upon　whom　its　miseries　had　fallen　so　heavily；　and　whose　love　alone
had　saved　him　to　be　even　what　he　was。

That　child　had　no　doubts；　asked　herself　no　question；　for　she　was　but　too
content　to　see　him　with　a　lustre　round　his　head。　Poor　dear；　good　dear；
truest；　kindest；　dearest；　were　the　only　words　she　had　for　him；　as　she
hushed　him　to　rest。

She　never　left　him　all　that　night。　As　if　she　had　done　him　a　wrong　which
her　tenderness　could　hardly　repair；　she　sat　by　him　in　his　sleep；　at
times　softly　kissing　him　with　suspended　breath；　and　calling　him　in　a
whisper　by　some　endearing　name。　At　times　she　stood　aside　so　as　not　to
intercept　the　low　fire…light；　and；　watching　him　when　it　fell　upon　his
sleeping　face；　wondered　did　he　look　now　at　all　as　he　had　looked　when　he
was　prosperous　and　happy；　as　he　had　so　touched　her　by　imagining　that　he
might　look　once　more　in　that　awful　time。　At　the　thought　of　that　time；
she　kneeled　beside　his　bed　again；　and　prayed；　'O　spare　his　life！　O
save　him　to　me！　O　look　down　upon　my　dear；　long…suffering；　unfortunate；
much…changed；　dear　dear　father！'

Not　until　the　morning　came　to　protect　him　and　encourage　him；　did　she
give　him　a　last　kiss　and　leave　the　small　room。　When　she　had　stolen
down…stairs；　and　along　the　empty　yard；　and　had　crept　up　to　her　own
high　garret；　the　smokeless　housetops　and　the　distant　country　hills　were
discernible　over　the　wall　in　the　clear　morning。　As　she　gently　opened　the
window；　and　looked　eastward　down　the　prison　yard；　the　spikes　upon　the
wall　were　tipped　with　red；　then　made　a　sullen　purple　pattern　on　the　sun
as　it　came　flaming　up　into　the　heavens。　The　spikes　had　never　looked　so
sharp　and　cruel；　nor　the　bars　so　heavy；　nor　the　prison　space　so　gloomy
and　contracted。　She　thought　of　the　sunrise　on　rolling　rivers；　of　the
sunrise　on　wide　seas；　of　the　sunrise　on　rich　landscapes；　of　the
sunrise　on　great　forests　where　the　birds　were　waking　and　the　trees　were
rustling；　and　she　looked　down　into　the　living　grave　on　which　the　sun
had　risen；　with　her　father　in　it　three…and…twenty　years；　and　said；　in
a　burst　of　sorrow　and　passion；　'No；　no；　I　have　never　seen　him　in　my
life！'




CHAPTER　20。　Moving　in　Society

If　Young　John　Chivery　had　had　the　inclination　and　the　power　to　write　a
satire　on　family　pride；　he　would　have　had　no　need　to　go　for　an　avenging
illustration　out　of　the　family　of　his　beloved。　He　would　have　found　it
amply　in　that　gallant　brother　and　that　dainty　sister；　so　steeped　in　mean
experiences；　and　so　loftily　conscious　of　the　family　name；　so　ready
to　beg　or　borrow　from　the　poorest；　to　eat　of　anybody's　bread；　spend
anybody's　money；　drink　from　anybody's　cup　and　break　it　afterwards。
To　have　painted　the　sordid　facts　of　their　lives；　and　they　throughout
invoking　the　death's　head　apparition　of　the　family　gentility　to　e　and
scare　their　benefactors；　would　have　made　Young　John　a　satirist　of　the
first　water。

Tip　had　turned　his　liberty　to　hopeful　account　by　being　a
billiard…marker。　He　had　troubled　himself　so　little　as　to　the　means　of
his　release；　that　Clennam　scarcely　needed　to　have　been　at　the　pains　of
impressing　the　mind　of　Mr　Plornish　on　that　subject。　Whoever　had　paid
him　the　pliment；　he　very　readily　accepted　the　pliment　with　HIS
pliments；　and　there　was　an　end　of　it。　Issuing　forth　from　the　gate
on　these　easy　terms；　he　became　a　billiard…marker；　and　now　occasionally
looked　in　at　the　little　skittle…ground　in　a　green　Newmarket　coat
（second…hand）；　with　a　shining　collar　and　bright　buttons　（new）；　and　drank
the　beer　of　the　Collegians。

One　solid　stationary　point　in　the　looseness　of　this　gentleman's
character　was；　that　he　respected　and　admired　his　sister　Amy。　The　feeling
had　never　induced　him　to　spare　her　a　moment's　uneasiness；　or　to　put
himself　to　any　restraint　or　inconvenience　on　her　account；　but　with　that
Marshalsea　taint　upon　his　love；　he　loved　her。　The　same　rank　Marshalsea
flavour　was　to　be　recognised　in　his　distinctly　perceiving　that　she
sacrificed　her　life　to　her　father；　and　in　his　having　no　idea　that　she
had　done　anything　for　himself。

When　this　spirited　young　man　and　his　sister　had　begun　systematically
to　produce　the　family　skeleton　for　the　overawing　of　the　College；　this
narrative　cannot　precisely　state。　Probably　at　about　the　period　when
they　began　to　dine　on　the　College　charity。　It　is　certain　that　the　more
reduced　and　necessitous　they　were；　the　more　pompously　the　skeleton
emerged　from　its　tomb；　and　that　when　there　was　anything　particularly
shabby　in　the　wind；　the　skeleton　always　came　out　with　the　ghastliest
flourish。

Little　Dorrit　was　late　on　the　Monday　morning；　for　her　father　slept
late；　and　afterwards　there　was　his　breakfast　to　prepare　and　his　room　to
arrange。　She　had　no　engagement　to　go　out　to　work；　however；　and　therefore
stayed　with　him　until；　with　Maggy's　help；　she　had　put　everything　right
about　him；　and　had　seen　him　off　upon　his　morning　walk　（of　twenty　yards
or　so）　to　the　coffee…house　to　read　the　paper。

She　then　got　on　her　bon　and　went　out；　having　been　anxious　to　get　out
much　sooner。　There　was；　as　usual；　a　cessation　of　the　small…talk　in
the　Lodge　as　she　passed　through　it；　and　a　Collegian　who　had　e　in
on　Saturday　night；　received　the　intimation　from　the　elbow　of　a　more
seasoned　Collegian；　'Look　out。　Here　she　is！'　She　wanted　to　see　her
sister；　but　when　she　got　round　to　Mr　Cripples's；　she　found　that　both　her
sister　and　her　uncle　had　gone　to　the　theatre　where　they　were　engaged。
Having　taken　thought　of　this　probability　by　the　way；　and　having　settled
that　in　such　case　she　would　follow　them；　she　set　off　afresh　for　the
theatre；　which　was　on　that　side　of　the　river；　and　not　very　far　away。

Little　Dorrit　was　almost　as　ignorant　of　the　ways　of　theatres　as　of　the
ways　of　gold　mines；　and　when　she　was　directed　to　a　furtive　sort　of　door；
with　a　curious　up…all…night　air　about　it；　that　appeared　to　be　ashamed　of
itself　and　to　be　hiding　in　an　alley；　she　hesitated　to　approach　it；　being
further　deterred　by　the　sight　of　some　half…dozen　close…shaved　gentlemen
with　their　hats　very　strangely　on；　who　were　lounging　about　the　door；
looking　not　at　all　unlike　Collegians。　On　her　applying　to　them；　reassured
by　this　resemblance；　for　a　direction　to　Miss　Dorrit；　they　made　way　for
her　to　enter　a　dark　hall……it　was　more　like　a　great　grim　lamp　gone　out
than　anything　else……where　she　could　hear　the　distant　playing　of　music
and　the　sound　of　dancing　feet。　A　man　so　much　in　want　of　airing　that　he
had　a　blue　mould　upon　him；　sat　watching　this　dark　place　from　a　hole　in
a　corner；　like　a　spider；　and　he　told　her　that　he　would　send　a　message
up　to　Miss　Dorrit　by　the　first　lady　or　gentleman　who　went　through。　The
first　lady　who　went　through　had　a　roll　of　music；　half　in　her　muff　and
half　out　of　it；　and　was　in　such　a　tumbled　condition　altogether；　that　it
seemed　as　if　it　would　be　an　act　of　kindness　to　iron　her。　But　as　she　was
very　good…natured；　and　said；　'e　with　me；　I'll　soon　find　Miss　Dorrit
for　you；'　Miss　Dorrit's　sister　went　with　her；　drawing　nearer　and　nearer
at　every　step　she　took　in　the　darkness　to　the　sound　of　music　and　the
sound　of　dancing　feet。

At　last　they　came　into　a　maze　of　dust；　where　a　quantity　of　people　were
tumbling　over　one　another；　and　where　there　was　such　a　confusion　of
unaccountable　shapes　of　beams；　bulkheads；　brick　walls；　ropes；　and
rollers；　and　such　a　mixing　of　gaslight　and　daylight；　that　they　seemed
to　have　got　on　the　wrong　side　of　the　pattern　of　the　universe。　Little
Dorrit；　left　to　herself；　and　knocked　against　by　somebody　every　moment；
was　quite　bewildered；　when　she　heard　her　sister's　voice。

'Why；　good　gracious；　Amy；　what　ever　brought　you　here？'

'I　wanted　to　see　you；　Fanny　dear；　and　as　I　am　going　out　all　day
to…morrow；　and　knew　you　might　be　engaged　all　day　to…day；　I　thought……'

'But　the　idea；　Amy；　of　YOU　ing　behind！　I　never　did！'　As　her　sister
said　this　in　no　very　cordial　tone　of　wele；　she　conducted　her　to　a
more　open　part　of　the　maze；　where　various　golden　chairs　and　tables　were
heaped　together；　and　where　a　number　of　young　ladies　were　sitting　on
anything　they　could　find；　chattering。　All　these　young　ladies　wanted
ironing；　and　all　had　a　curious　way　of　looking　everywhere　while　they
chattered。

Just　as　the　sisters　arrived　here；　a　monotonous　boy　in　a　Scotch　cap　put
his　head　round　a　beam　on　the　left；　and　said；　'Less　noise　there；　ladies！'
and　disappeared。　Immediately　after　which；　a　sprightly　gentleman　with　a
quantity　of　long　black　hair　looked　round　a　beam　on　the　right；　and　said；
'Less　noise　there；　darlings！'　and　also　disappeared。

'The　notion　of　you　among　professionals；　Amy；　is　really　the　last　thing
I　could　have　conceived！'　said　her　sister。　'Why；　how　did　you　ever　get
here？'

'I　don't　know。　The　lady　who　told　you　I　was　here；　was　so　good　as　to　bring
me　in。'

'Like　you　quiet　little　things！　You　can　make　your　way　anywhere；　I
believe。　I　couldn't　have　managed　it；　Amy；　though　I　know　so　much　more　of
the　world。'

It　was　the　family　custom　to　lay　it　down　as　family　law；　that　she　was　a
plain　domestic　little　creature；　without　the　great　and　sage　experience　of
the　rest。　This　family　fiction　was　the　family　assertion　of　itself　against
her　services。　Not　to　make　too　much　of　them。

'Well！　And　what　have　you　got　on　your　mind；　Amy？　Of　course　you　have
got　something　on　your　mind　about　me？'　said　Fanny。　She　spoke　as　if　her
sister；　between　two　and　three　years　her　junior；　were　her　prejudiced
grandmother。

'It　is　not　much；　but　since　you　told　me　of　the　lady　who　gave　you　the
bracelet；　Fanny……'

The　monotonous　boy　put　his　head　round　the　beam　on　the　left；　and　said；
'Look　out　there；　ladies！'　and　disappeared。　The　sprightly　gentleman　with
the　black　hair　as　suddenly　put　his　head　round　the　beam　on　the　right；　and
said；　'Look　out　there；　darlings！'　and　also　disappeared。　Thereupon　all
the　young　ladies　rose　and　began　shaking　their　skirts　out　behind。

'Well；　Amy？'　said　Fanny；　doing　as　the　rest　did；　'what　were　you　going　to
say？'

'Since　you　told　me　a　lady　had　given　you　the　bracelet　you　showed　me；
Fanny；　I　have　not　been　quite　easy　on　your　account；　and　indeed　want　to
know　a　little　more　if　you　will　confide　more　to　me。'

'Now；　ladies！'　said　the　boy　in　the　Scotch　cap。　'Now；　darlings！'　said　the
gentleman　with　the　black　hair。　They　were　every　one　gone　in　a　moment；　and
the　music　and　the　dancing　feet　were　heard　again。

Little　Dorrit　sat　down　in　a　golden　chair；　made　quite　giddy　by　these
rapid　interruptions。　Her　sister　and　the　rest　were　a　long　time　gone；　and
during　their　absence　a　voice　（it　appeared　to　be　that　of　the　gentleman
with　the　black　hair）　was　continually　calling　out　through　the　music；
'One；　two；　three；　four；　five；　six……go！　One；　two；　three；　four；　five；
six……go！　Steady；　darlings！　One；　two；　three；　four；　five；　six……go！'
Ultimately　the　voice　stopped；　and　they　all　came　back　again；　more　or　less
out　of　breath；　folding　themselves　in　their　shawls；　and　making　ready
for　the　streets。　'Stop　a　moment；　Amy；　and　let　them　get　away　before
us；'　whispered　Fanny。　They　were　soon　left　alone；　nothing　more　important
happening；　in　the　meantime；　than　the　boy　looking　round　his　old　beam；　and
saying；　'Everybody　at　eleven　to…morrow；　ladies！'　and　the　gentleman　with
the　black　hair　looking　round　his　old　beam；　and　saying；　'Everybody　at
eleven　to…morrow；　darlings！'　each　in　his　own　accustomed　manner。

When　they　were　alone；　something　was　rolled　up　or　by　other　means　got　out
of　the　way；　and　there　was　a　great　empty　well　before　them；　looking　down
into　the　depths　of　which　Fanny　said；　'Now；　uncle！'　Little　Dorrit；　as　her
eyes　became　used　to　the　darkness；　faintly　made　him　out　at　the　bottom　of
the　well；　in　an　obscure　corner