rekindled(英文版)-第18章

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But　Ross　tensed　at　the　sound　of　her　voice。　He　was　breathing　hard；
pressing　his　forehead　to　the　pillow　by　her　ear。　She　felt　him　rock　hard
and　large　against　her；　but　he　didn't　enter。

〃I　swore　I　wouldn't　do　this；〃　he　whispered　hoarsely；　〃swore　I'd　keep　my
hands　off　you。　I've　tried。　God　knows；　I've　tried！〃

When　he　raised　himself　to　look　at　her；　his　expression　shocked　her　into
awareness。　〃Don't　go！〃　she　cried。

〃I　have　to。　For　this　one　release；　I'd　be　buying　a　huge　packet　of　pain。〃

〃No！〃　Her　fingers　tightened　on　his　shoulders　until　her　knuckles　turned
white。　She　was　close　to　panic。　〃Please；　Ross。　I've　never　asked　you　for
anything　else。　But　please　。。。　now　。。。　I　can't　bear　it！〃

The　impetus　was　hers；　lips　and　arms　and　hips　all　working　against　him
until　he　surrendered　with　a　moan。　Falling　to　the　bed　and　rolling　to　his
back；　he　drew　her　over　him；　and　she　loved　him　that　way。　She　couldn't　say
the　words　he　wanted　to　hear；　but　her　body　could　show　him　what　she　felt。

It　did　that；　and　quite　well。　By　the　time　the　sun's　golden　rays　breached
the　windowsill　and　glistened　on　their　sweat；　they　were　totally　spent。

Rasping　breaths　broke　the　air；　but　otherething
was　wrong。　Chloe　felt　it　the　instant　her　pulse　began　to　slow。　There　was
no　talk。　No　closeness。　The　satisfaction　that　usually　kept　them　warm　and
entwined　faded　fast。

Ross　rose　from　the　bed；　retrieved　his　robe；　and　left　the　room。　Alone
again；　Chloe　curled　into　a　tight　ball　with　the　covers　pulled　to　her
ears。

Apparently；　it　was　time　to　put　up　or　shut　up。　Ross　couldn't　live　with
half…measures…but　then；　had　she　really　thought　he　would？　Her　body　might
love　him　to　bits；　but　if　she　couldn't　love　the　rest　with　her　head　and
her　heart；　there　was　no　hope。

She　heard　the　front　door　slam　shortly　after　he　left　her　room。　She　didn't
know　where　he　went；　and　he　was　back　in　time　to　take　her　to　the　train
station；　but　even　the　short　ride　there　was　awkward。　It　wasn't　until　she
was　about　to　board　the　train　that　he　said　more　than　a　full　sentence；　and
then　his　voice　was　quiet。

〃I'd　like　to　follow　through　with　the　liaison　between　Hansen　and　ESE；　but
I　think　Lee　should　handle　the　account。　You're　right。　It'll　be　too
difficult　any　other　way；　at　least　for　now。〃

Chloe　wanted　to　argue；　but　no　words　came　out。

His　eyes　held　defeat　when　he　looked　at　her　a　final　time。　〃I'll　be　here；
Chloe。　When　you're　free；　let　me　know。〃

On　the　Saturday　after　Thanksgiving；　Chloe　boarded　a　plane。　It　taxied　and
took　off；　then　climbed　into　the　sky　and　headed　north。　New　Orleans　fell
behind。　New　York　was　ahead。　She　was　going　back　to　Ross。

She　tried　to　sleep；　but　was　too　excited。　She　ate　dinner；　she　read　a
magazine；　she　looked　out　the　window　and　smiled。　Where　a　haunted　woman
had　been　just　a　few　days　before；　was　one　with　a　newborn　peace。

She　had　e　a　very　long　way　in　a　very　short　time；　but　it　hadn't　been
easy。　There　were　dozens　of　doubts　and　second　thoughts　dogging　her
through　Mobile；　and　added　days　spent　wavering　there；　then　fear　and
unsureness　when　she　arrived　at　her　parents'　home　in　New　Orleans　on
Thanksgiving　morning。

Now；　as　the　plane　began　its　descent；　she　shook　her　head　in　amazement。　So
many　years　lost　over　a　misunderstanding。　But　it　was　cleared　up　now。　It
was　better。　She　would　call　Ross　the　minute　she　landed。　He　would　be
totally　surprised。

But　she　was　the　one　in　for　the　surprise。　Ross　was　at　the　airport　to　meet
her；　standing　tall　and　dark　and　vibrant。　In　a　moment　of　ddji　vu；　their
eyes　met　over　the　crowd。　Chloe　stopped　in　awe；　knowing　that　her　next
steps　would　be　as　momentous　as　the　ones　she　had　taken　eleven　years　ago。
But　she　was　a　woman　now　and　finally　free　to　love。　Breathing　deeply；　she
ran　forward；　Ross　met　her　halfway　and　crushed　her　in　his　arms；　holding
her　tightly　enough；　long　enough　to　say　what　he　felt　without　words。

Chloe　owed　him　the　words；　though。　When　she　drew　back　to　look　up　at　him；
her　throat　was　constricted　by　the　same　emotion　that　brought　tears　to　her
eyes。　A　mouthed　〃I　love　you〃　was　the　best　she　could　do。　It　was　enough。

His　face　lightened。　His　eyes　glowed。　〃Let's　go　home；〃　he　said；　and；　arm
in　arm；　they　did　just　that。

A　short　time　later；　they　were　in　Ross's　living　room；　sitting　on　the
sofa；　facing　one　another。　He　held　her　hand　tightly；　while　she　tried　to
put　into　words　everything　she　had　learned　in　New　Orleans。

〃It　was　a　tragic　edy　of　errors；〃　she　began。　〃I　had　blamed　myself　for
going　with　you　and　upsetting　Crystal；　even　for　tossing　that　coin；　and　I
felt　so　guilty　when　she　died　that　I　withdrew　into　myself。　When　my
parents　couldn't　get　through　to　me；　they　sent　me　to　stay　with　friends　in
Newport　in　the　hope　that　the　change　of　scenery　would　do　me　good。　I
thought　that　they　just　didn't　want　me　around　to　remind　them　of　what　had
happened；　so　I　stayed　away。　One　misunderstanding　after　another。〃

〃But　it's　over？〃　he　asked；　so　obviously　needing　reassurance　that　she
lifted　a　hand　to　his　cheek　and　kissed　him。

〃Yes；〃　she　breathed。　〃It's　over。　I　was　really　worried　about　my　mother
for　a　while　there。　When　she　learned　what　I'd　thought　all　these　years；
she　was　beside　herself　with　grief。　We　spent　that　whole　first　night
talking；　just　the　two　of　us。〃　She　grew　pensive。　〃I'd　never　had　her　all
to　myself　before。　There　were　always　the　three　of　us。　But　Mom　was　great；
even　as　upset　as　she　was。　She　explained　so　many　things　to　me。　It
helped。〃

She　looked　again　at　Ross。　His　eyes　were　warm　with　understanding；　urging
her　on。

〃She　talked　about　having　twins；　about　watching　them　grow；　about　knowing
their　similarities　and　their　differences。　She　pointed　out　that　if　the
tables　had　been　turned；　and　Crystal　had　had　the　affair；　I'd　have　reacted
differently。　In　other　words；〃　she　sighed；　sad　but　hopeful；　〃Crystal's
reaction　was　part　of　her　personality；　just　as　the　guilt　I've　lived　with
all　these　years　is　part　of　mine。〃

〃Is？〃　Ross　asked　softly。

〃Was；〃　she　corrected　herself；　looking　directly　at　him。　He　couldn't　miss
the　pleading　in　her　gaze。　〃I'd　like　to　put　it　behind　me　now。　Will　you
help？〃

Her　pulse　tripped　for　a　minute　until　Ross's　wide　smile　sent　it　racing
on。　〃That's　why　I'm　here。〃

She　frowned。　〃Why　are　you　here？　I　mean；　how　did　you　know　to　be　at　the
airport？〃

〃Your　parents。〃

〃You　talked　with　them？〃

〃Yesterday。〃　He　looked　pleased　with　himself。　〃You　were　overdue　in　Little
pton。　Lee　called　me；　we　plotted　your　course；　and　put　two　and　two
together。　When　I　realized　you'd　gone　home　I　knew　why。　It　was　all　I　could
do　not　to　join　you　there。　But　it　was　something　you　had　to　do；　wasn't
it？〃

She　nodded。　〃I　told　them　about　you。〃

〃Lucky　you　did。　It　made　the　explanations　simpler。〃　He　paused；　vaguely
playful；　vaguely　curious。　〃What；　uh；　exactly；　did　you　tell　them？〃

〃That　you　loved　me；　that　I　loved　you；　that　you'd　asked　me　to　marry　you。
But　I　also　told　them　that　I　had　to　work　things　out　there　with　them；　to
finally　accept　Crystal's　death；　if　I　ever　hoped　to　be　as　much　of　a　woman
as　you　deserve。〃

At　the　last；　all　playfulness　drained　from　Ross's　face；　leaving　a
vulnerability　that　was　the　flip　side　of　his　usual　strength。　His　hand
trembled　slightly　when　it　cupped　her　face。　〃Have　I　told　you　how　much　I
love　you？〃　he　whispered；　kissing　her　eyes；　nose；　and　mouth　in　turn。

〃You'll　have　forever　to　tell　me；〃　she　whispered　back。

〃Then　you'll　marry　me？〃

〃Uh…huh。〃

〃Ahhhhh。〃　With　the　long　sigh；　he　hugged　her　again。　His　breath　was　warm
against　her　ear。

〃Tired？〃

His　neck　smelled　of　him。　She　shook　her　head　against　it。　〃Nope。〃

〃You're　sure？〃　He　tightened　an　arm　around　her　waist。　〃It　was　a　long
flight。〃

〃I'm　not　tired。〃　She　grinned。　〃I　don't　think　I'll　sleep　for　hours。〃

Ross　rose　from　the　sofa　and　held　out　a　hand。　Chloe　put　hers　in　it　and
let　him　draw　her　up　and　into　his　arms。

〃I　love　you；　Ross。　You　know　that；　don't　you？〃

〃I　have　for　a　long　time。　I'm　only　glad　you　can　finally　say　it。　You're
free；　aren't　you；　princess？〃　She　sighed；　then　smiled　and　said　with　a
touch；　just　a　touch　of　New　Orleans；　〃I　do　believe　I　am。〃

He　laughed　out　loud　and　rolled　his　eyes。　Keeping　an　arm　around　her　to
hold　her　close；　he　walked　her　to　the　stairs　and　up。


Lilac　Awakening

In　memory　of　my　father；　who　gave　me　an　eye　for　detail。

Nightfall　was　nature's　last　resort　in　a　bid　to　blot　out　her　own
splendor。　For　much　of　the　afternoon　across　the　upper　Vermont
countryside；　ominous　dark　clouds　had　hung　over　the　forested　peaks；
swarming；　breaking；　and　regrouping　in　a　macabre　arabesque。　Rather　than
stifling　beauty；　they　enhanced　it　with　a　muted　gray　softness；　sifted
over　the　deep　greens　of　the　hillside。　The　power　of　the　land　was　an
awesome　one；　embodied　in　the　proud　posture　of　the　pines　on　the　hill；　the
free　flow　of　the　river　winding　through　the　valley；　the　gaiety　of　the
orange　Indian　paintbrush　swaying　with　meadow　grass　in　the　breeze。
Darkness　was　only　a　thin　veil　over　this　primal　beauty。　Seeing　through
it；　Anne　Boulton　felt　blessed；　and　doubly　grateful　that　she　had　left　the
city。

The　summer　had　been　an　oppressive　one　in　New　York。　Heat　and　humidity　had
rivaled　each　other；　stubbornly　clinging　to　highs　that　beaded　foreheads
and　furniture　with　sweat；　and　made　everyone　and　everything　sticky。　As
the　sky　scrapered　congestion　closed　in　on　her；　so　had　wellintending
friends　and　family；　coaxing　her　out　to　lunch；　when　she　wanted　a　tall
cola　and　a　salad　at　home；　dragging　her　to　the　theater；　when　she　craved　a
quiet　evening　alone；　spiriting　her　away　for　a　weekend　of　busy
panionship；　when　she　fancied　a　good　book　and　healing　solitude。　In　the
end　she　wanted　Jeff；　but　Jeff　was　gone。

Now；　cocooned　by　darkness；　she　curled　in　a　large　upholstered　chair。　The
wood　fire　in　the　hearth　offered　the　only　light；　its　orange　and　gold
flames　flickering　hypnotically　before　her　dark　eyes。　This　was　her　first
evening　here。　If　the　isolation；　the　peace　were　a　harbinger；　she　had　made
the　right　decision　in　renting　the　house　for　the　week。　Time　was　precious；
but　it　abounded　here。　She　planned　to　read；　to　take　walks；　even　to　work。
Mostly；　though；　she　planned　to　think。

Late　September　in　Vermont　was　the　perfect　time　for　soul…searching。　With
promises　of　misty　mornings　and　golden　afternoons；　newly　ripening　apples
and　sountain　air；　it　was　a
perfect　antidote　for　her　malaise。　The　small　house　on　its　high　perch　was
everything　the　rental　agent　had　promised。　No　matter　that　her　small　car
had　nearly　e　apart　jolting　over　bumps　and　ruts　in　the　steadily
climbing　dirt　road；　the　house　was　charming。　It　sat　peacefully　in　the
arms　of　giant　maples　and　towering　firs；　its　brown　weathered　shingles　and
silver　slate　roof　blending　with　the　earthen　road　and　the　gray　of　the
sky。　Low　shrubbery；　aged　a　fall　green；　bordered　the　house。　Taller　lilac
bushes；　their　fragrant　blossoms　long　gone　but　imagined；　straddled　the
ebony　front　door。

Inside；　the　cottage　was　as　pact　as　its　surroundings　were　generous；
with　an　open…hearthed　living　room　at　the　front；　a　kitchen；　bedroom；　and
bath　at　the　rear。　A　narrow　stairway　on　the　far　side　led　to　a　dormered
attic。　Decorated　functionally　and　fortably；　the　whole　was　a　far　cry
from　her　elegant　New　York　apartment；　but　the　difference　pleased　her。
This　was　a　neutral　spot；　a　place　of　few　luxuries　and　no　memories；　a
place　where　she　could　face　life　for　the　pleasure　of　the　day。

And　this　had　been　a　tiring　one。　Its　morning　had　been　filled　with
last　minute　errands…to　the　bank　for　money；　to　the　library　and　the
bookstore　for　the　week's　entertainment；　to　the　university　for　a　delivery
and　a　pickup；　to　the　market　for　food。　Its　afternoon　had　been　one　of
steady　driving；　then　storing　groceries　and　unpacking　bags。

The　fireplace　had　beckoned。　Anne　was　bone…weary；　had　been　lacking　in
stamina　for　weeks。　As　the　wing…backed　chair　held　her　slim　form；　the
dancing　flames　lulled　her　into　recollection　of　a　dinner　with　her　parents
the　weekend　before。

〃I　don't　understand；〃　her　mother　had　tried　to　reason　with　her；　〃why　you
have　to　take　off　all　by　yourself。　We've　tried　so　hard　to　do　what's　best。
Have　we　failed？〃

Arodous　to　ease　her　mother's　worry；　Anne　had　forced　a　smile。　〃No；　you
didn't　fail。　I　just　want　to　get　out　of　the　city　for　a　while。　You　know；
get　a　little　of　that　fresh…air…and…color…on…my…cheeks　type　of　thing？〃

〃Well；　you　could　certainly　use　that；〃　came　her　father's　deep　voice。　Tall
and　distinguished…looking；　Anthony　Faulke's　sturdy　frame　belied　his
near　sixty　years。　Anne　took　the　darkness　of　her　hair　and　eyes　from　him；
though　her　willowed　shapeliness　was　her　mother's。　〃But　we'd　have　liked
to　have　you　join　us　on　the　shore　in　several　weeks。　Won't　you　reconsider
and　wait　until　then？〃

Anne　shook　her　head。　Not　a　hair　moved。　It　was　in　a　somber　knot　at　the
nape　of　her　neck。　〃Now's　the　time。　I've　already　made　the　arrangements
and　paid　for　the　place。〃

Her　mother　tried　again。　〃But　you've　never　enjoyed　traveling　alone。
Wouldn't　it　be　better　to　have　someone　with　you？　If　I　didn't　have　the
charity　luncheon　on　Wednesday；　I'd　go　with　you　myself。　You　need　pany；
Anne。〃

Anne　hated　worrying　her　parents。　They　had　suffered　nearly　as　much　as　she
had；　having　to　stand　by　and　watch　helplessly　as　their　elder　daughter's
life　fell　apart。　When　they　looked　at　her；　Anne　knew　what　they　saw。　She
saw　it　in　the　mirror　each　morning；　the　pallor