rekindled(英文版)-第35章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


receding　skyline。

〃About　a　week　ago。　This　is　her　maiden　voyage。　The　Honda　was　a　bit　small
for　three。〃　The　eyebrow　that　arched　her　way　was　subtle；　but　Anne　had　to
marvel　at　his　presumption。　If　the　three　included　her；　he　had　paid　a
whole　lot　for　a　single　trip。

Rachel　poked　her　golden　head　between　the　bucket　seats　and　rubbed　her
cheek　against　the　soft　velour。　〃I　like　this　car。　Daddy　says　the　color
matches　my　eyes。〃

〃It　does；　at　that；〃　Anne　said　with　a　warm　smile。　How　not　to　smile　at　a
child　who　exuded　sweetness　like　this　one？　She　prayed　there　would　be
pouts；　crankiness；　and　temper　tantrums　as　the　week　progressed。
Otherwise；　she　could　be　in　big　trouble。

There　weren't　any　pouts；　crankiness；　or　temper　tantrums；　and　Anne　grew
more　and　more　attached　to　the　child。　Even　knowing　that　Mitch　contrived
it　didn't　detract　from　the　pleasure　Anne　took　in　simple　custodial　things
like　bathing　her；　bing　those　long　blond　curls；　helping　retie　the
shoelaces　that　came　undone　after　Rachel　laboriously　tied　them　herself。
There　were　substantive　things　to　cherish；　like　cookie　baking；　hikes　in
the　woods；　and　reading　stories　before　the　fire　at　night。

And　if　Anne　was　in　love；　she　felt　it　ing　right　back　from　Rachel。　Such
innocent；　heartfelt；　freely　given　affection　was　the　most　precious　thing
in　the　world。

Staying　indifferent　to　Mitch　was　a　problem；　but　she　did　her　best　and；　to
his　credit；　he　didn't　push。　She　slept　upstairs；　he　slept　downstairs；
with　Rachel　in　a　sleeping　bag　on　the　floor　of　his　room。　By　Wednesday
morning；　though；　Anne　felt　she　was　walking　a　tight…rope　of　conflicting
emotions；　with　Mitch　watching　from　morning　to　night　to　see　which　way　she
would　go。

Memory　nagged。　She　remembered　beautiful　times　here　with　Mitch；　innocent
times　of　fulfillment　and　love。　She　might　put　them　aside　in　New　York；　but
they　were　more　real　here　and　harder　to　flee。

Still　she　tried。　〃I'm　going　for　a　walk；〃　she　announced　after　a
postbreakfast　bit　of　brooding。

〃That's　a　good　idea；〃　Mitch　said　without　mockery；　but　then；　his
gentleness　was　part　of　the　torture。　〃Take　your　time。　I　think　I　can
manage　Rachel　for　a　few　hours。〃

Despite　the　little　girl's　protest；　Anne　left。　It　was　the　first　time　she
had　been　alone　since　they　had　arrived；　and　she　needed　it　badly。　She　was
feeling　frayed　at　the　seams；　but　there　were　still　two　days　left　in　the
week。　She　had　to　find　a　way　of　surviving。

Spring　was　everywhere。　What　had　been　damp　and　gray　a　month　before　was
now　a　fresh；　vibrant　green。　The　scent　was　of　rebirth；　spreading　upward
from　the　lush　carpet　of　new　grass　and　through　the　lime　leaves　that
clothed　long　tree　branches。　The　sounds　were　enchanting　ones…the　chirping
of　birds　from　nest　to　nest；　the　rustle　of　forest　creatures　in　the　newly
spreading　undergrowth。　Water　ran　freely　over　rocks　and　silt；　rushing
with　the　force　of　the　snows　that　melted　higher　up　the　mountain。　The
pasture　glowed　yellow　with　dandelions　and　pink　with　crab　apple　blossoms。
It　was　the　countryside　at　its　gayest　and　most　promising。

Not　so　her　heart。　Its　sadness　was　all　the　more　poignant　by　contrast。
Pebbles　scattered　before　her　shuffling　feet。　She　kicked　a　boulder　or
two。　When　she　finally　buried　her　head　on　her　arms；　the　tears　flowed　as
fast　and　free　as　the　brook　beside　her。　But　while　the　brook's　course　was
one　of　liberation；　Anne's　was　the　opposite。　She　was　in　an　emotional
prison。　Loving　Mitch　did　that。

In　time；　she　knelt　on　the　stones　and　splashed　her　face。　The　water　was　so
cold　that　she　gasped；　but　the　pain　felt　good；　and　the　invigoration　was
wele。　She　headed　slowly　back　toward　the　cottage；　winding　in　and　out
among　the　forest　paths；　physically　relieved　from　the　cry；　if　no　closer
to　a　solution。

Under　the　warmth　of　the　high　noon　sun；　she　arrived　at　the　house　to　an
unexpected　silence。　Assuming　that　father　and　daughter　were　out　in　the
woods　themselves；　she　passed　through　the　kitchen　to　the　living　room；
only　to　stop　short　at　the　sight　of　Mitch；　standing　tall　and　lean　at　the
front　window。　His　hands　filled　the　pockets　of　his　jeans　in　a　pose　that
was　more　idle　than　she　would　have　expected；　given　the　presence　of　a
vivacious　six…year…old。

〃Where's　Rachel？〃　she　asked。

He　faced　her。　〃She's　gone。〃

〃Gone。〃　But　he　wasn't　upset。　〃What　do　you　mean　gone？〃

〃My　parents　came　by　to　pick　her　up。　They're　continuing　on　to　Montreal
for　a　few　days。〃

〃You　mean；　she's　gone？〃　The　implication　of　it　was　only　slowly　seeping
in。

〃Yes。〃　His　eyes　held　hers。　〃You've　been　crying。〃

〃No。〃　She　felt　justified　lying。　He　had　tricked　her　again！

〃Your　eyes　are　red；〃　he　challenged　softly。

〃I　have　hay　fever；〃　she　snapped；　feeling　a　growing　fury。　〃You　planned
this；　didn't　you？　You　had　it　all　arranged　with　your　parents。　You
orchestrated　the　whole　thing；　using　Rachel　to　get　me　up　here；　then
conveniently　having　her　vanish。〃　Every　muscle　in　her　body　had　tensed。

〃Yes；〃　he　admitted　and　offered　no　excuse。

Anne's　eyes　blazed。　〃And　you　really　think　I'm　staying；　now　that　she's
gone？　Hell；　she　was　the　only　reason　I　agreed　to　e　up　here　in　the
first　place！〃

He　began　to　move　toward　her。　〃Was　it；　Anne？　Was　it　really？　Be　honest
with　yourself〃

She　was　suddenly　afraid。　〃I　am！　That　was　why　I　came　up　here。〃　She　put　up
a　hand　to　ward　him　off　and　took　a　step　backward。　〃Don't　e　any　closer。
Don't　you　dare　touch　me…〃

〃Or　what？　Haven't　we　been　through　this　before？　We're　right　back　at　the
beginning；　Annie。　Face　it。　No　child。　No　deposition…taking。　No　other
pretense。　Just　you　and　me。〃

〃It's　not　that　simple！〃　she　cried　and　took　another　step　back。　He　was　too
tall；　too　attractive；　too　near。　〃I　can't　forget　those　things。　They're
all　here；　even　if　you　try　to　deny　them；　and　nothing　can　change　the　fact
that　I　didn't　want　to　see　you；　that　I　don't　want　to　have　anything　to　do
with　you！〃

But　her　body　was　trembling。　It　remembered　how　he　felt　and　responded　the
closer　he　came。

He　continued　his　advance　until　she　was　backed　against　a　wall。　〃I　don't
believe　you；〃　he　informed　her　smoothly。　〃I　think　you　want　the　opposite。〃

She　shook　her　head　in　denial。　〃Don't；　Mitch。　Get　away　from　me。〃　But　her
warning　was　a　whisper；　and　a　faltering　one　at　that。　She　was　between
Mitch　and　the　wall；　between　a　rock　and　a　hard　place。　She　was　wondering
where　to　go；　when　he　flattened　his　hands　on　the　wall　by　either　shoulder。

〃This　has　gone　on　long　enough。　I'm　going　to　talk　now；　and　you're　going
to　listen。　My　patience　is　wearing　thin。〃

〃Your　patience？〃　she　cried；　raising　her　eyes　to　his。　〃What　about　mine？

And　what　about　my　feelings？　But　then；　you　never　were　all　that　concerned
about　what　would　happen　to　me　after　you'd　taken　everything　you　wanted！

You　are　the　most　selfish；　arrogant；　ruthless…〃

The　list　of　scathing　expletives　would　have　gone　on　if　he　hadn't　stopped
them　with　his　mouth。　She　tried　to　pull　back；　to　twist　her　head　away；　to
push　him　off。　But　he　was　bigger；　stronger；　and　determined。

He　drew　her　from　the　wall　and　into　his　arms；　kissing　her　so　vehemently
that　her　breath　was　cut　off。　At　the　instant　she　would　have　collapsed；　he
eased　his　grip；　breathing　raggedly　for　a　moment　before　capturing　her
lips　again。

This　time　was　different。　His　mouth　was　more　persuasive　now；　moving　with
gentleness　and　sensual　sureness。　Anne　might　have　been　able　to　resist
force；　but　a　caring　kiss　was　something　else。　Her　body　was　weak；　her　mind
muddled。　While　her　arms　continued　to　apply　a　token　pressure　against　his
chest；　her　lips　betrayed　her。　Gradually　they　softened；　then　opened；　then
drank　helplessly　of　his　kiss。

When　he　finally　raised　his　head；　she　bowed　hers　and　dissolved　into
helpless　tears。

〃Don't　cry；　Annie。　Please。〃　Sounding　tormented；　he　held　her　tightly
until　she　gradually　quieted。　〃I　won't　hurt　you。　Please　believe　me；
honey。　I've　never　meant　to　hurt　you。　I　just　want　you　to　listen　to　what　I
have　to　say。〃

〃Do　I　have　a　choice？〃　she　finally　whispered。

He　smiled。　〃No。〃

She　remained　docile　as　he　led　her　to　the　chair　before　the　cold　hearth。
The　same　wings　that　had　once　been　blinders　against　the　dark；　now　blotted
out　all　but　Mitch。

He　raked　a　hand　through　his　hair。　〃I　know　what　you　must　be　thinking
about　me；　but　you're　wrong。　It's　unfair　of　you　to　blame　me　for　what
happened　to　Jeff。〃

Anne　had　never　blamed　him　for　the　crash。　But　before　she　could　tell　him
that；　he　said；　〃It　wasn't　until　February；　when　you　were　so　sick　and　had
that　nightmare　about　the　accident　and　mentioned　the　court　hearing；　that
I　began　to　wonder　if　there　was　a　connection。　Contrary　to　your
assumption；　I　did　not　run　right　back　to　New　York　to　check　it　out。〃　He
turned　away　and　approached　the　hearth。　With　an　arm　on　its　mantel；　and　a
foot　on　the　ashstrewn　grate；　he　was　silent　for　several　minutes。　〃I
didn't　want　to　know；〃　he　finally　said。　〃My　guilt　feelings　about　that
accident　were　bad　enough；　without　having　to　bear　your　scorn。〃

But　he　was　missing　the　point！　She　didn't　blame　him　for　the　accident！

That　wasn't　the　problem！

He　went　on　without　turning。　〃I　was　tortured　ing　back　here　in　March。　I
knew　I　had　to　be　with　you；　but　I　also　knew　you　might　hate　me　even　more
afterward。〃　He　pushed　a　hand　through　his　hair。　〃You　were　bound　to　learn
the　truth　sooner　or　later。　I　wanted　to　tell　you　myself　I　just　。。。
couldn't。〃

Slowly　he　turned　to　face　her。　His　eyes　held　unfathomable　pain。　〃When　we
made　love；　Anne；　it　was　magnificent。　We　might　fight　about　little　things；
but　when　we　came　together　that　day；　it　was　heaven。　I　kept　thinking　that
if　you　knew　how　much　I　loved　you；　you'd　forgive　me。　If　I　could　have
prevented　that　accident；〃　he　said　on　a　note　of　defeat；　〃I　would　have；
believe　me；　I　would　have。〃

〃I　never　blamed　you　for　that　crash！〃

〃The　guilt　has　been　unbearable；〃　he　said　as　though　he　hadn't　heard　her。
〃It's　irrational　and　unjustified；　but　it's　real。　You　have　no　idea。
Between　the　plane　and　the　car。。　。〃　He　shook　his　head。

Anne　was　missing　something。　Quietly；　she　said；　〃What　car？〃

He　turned　away；　took　a　shuddering　breath；　straightened　in　resignation。
〃My　wife　was　killed　in　an　automobile　accident　three　weeks　before　that
plane　crash。　It　was　late　at　night。　The　roads　were　icy。　Our　car　was　hit
head　on　by　a　man　who'd　had　too　much　to　drink。〃　He　looked　back　over　his
shoulder。　〃I　was　at　the　wheel。〃

Anne　stared　dumbly　at　him；　and　suddenly　she　was　the　one　overwhelmed　with
grief　She　hadn't　asked　how　Mitch's　wife　had　died；　because　that　was
against　the　rules。　But　she　should　have　known　that　the　death　of　a　young
woman　would　be　tragic　no　matter　how　it　occurred。

〃It　wasn't　your　fault；〃　she　reasoned。

His　eyes　flashed。　〃I　was　driving！　If　only　I'd　driven　slower　or　faster；
or　taken　a　different　route。〃　He　hung　his　head。　When　he　raised　it　again；
his　anger　was　spent。　〃Remember　the　nightmare　you　had？　Mine　was　no　dream。
I　was　able　to　pull　Bey　out　of　the　car；　only　to　watch　her　die　in　my　arms。
There　was　nothing　I　could　do。　A　battered　arm　was　the　least　of　my
punishment。　The　plane　crash　seemed　an　extension　of　it。　Then〃…he　pressed
his　lips　together　and　nodded…〃then　I　found　you。〃

Anne　swallowed　hard。　He　wandered　across　the　room；　seeming　aimless；　as
though　it　didn't　matter　where　he　went。　She　had　never　seen　him　like　this；
had　never　heard　his　voice　so　bleak　or　so　sad。

〃I　had　fallen　in　love　with　you　long　before　I　made　the　connection　between
Jeff's　death　and　my　airline。　In　an　odd　way；　I　felt　you　were　my　only
chance　at　happiness；　at　building　a　new　life。　I　was　terrified　of　losing
you。　I　didn't　know　what　would　happen　when　I　told　you　what　I　knew。　I
wanted　to　think　you'd　understand；　but　the　stakes　were　so　high。〃

He　turned　to　face　her；　earnest　now。　〃I　never　lied　to　you　about　the
crash；　Anne。　I　just　didn't　tell　you　the　whole　truth。　It's　tormented　me
for　months。　But　the　longer　the　deception　went　on；　the　worse　my　sin　and
the　greater　the　risk　of　ing　clean。　I　was　afraid　that　once　you　knew；
you'd　despise　me。〃　For　a　long　and　heartrending　moment；　he　stared　at　her。
Then　he　cursed　softly。　〃What's；　what's　the　use。　It's　happened；　and　I
deserve　it。　I　was　too　blinded　by　my　own　need　to　see　to　yours。〃　He　took　a
ragged　breath。　〃I　just　wonder　when　the　punishment　will　end。〃　Turning　on
his　heel；　he　stalked　out　of　the　room；　leaving　Anne　alone　and　in　shock。

The　slam　of　the　back　door　jolted　her；　but　even　then　it　was　a　minute
before　she　could　move。　Bolting　up；　she　ran　after　him　out　of　the　house；
stumbling　on　the　steps；　catching　herself　and　running　on。　The　hammer　of
her　heart　made　breathing　difficult；　but　she　didn't　stop。

He　was　fast　disappearing　into　the　woods。　Frantically　she　followed；
running　on　through　the　low　growth　until　she　reached　a　clearing。　He　sat
there　with　his　back　to　her；　brooding　among　the　dandelions。　The　sun
glanced　off　his　hair　in　sparkles；　but　his　hunched　form　was　grim。

〃Mitch？〃

She　crept　nearer。

〃Mitch；　I'm　sorry；　so　sorry。〃　She　tried　to　touch　him；　but　pulled　back
when　he　flinched。　So　she　hunkered　down　inches　behind　him　and　said；　〃I've
been　wrong。　Please　forgive　me。　It　was　cruel　of　me　not　to　listen；　not　to
even　ask　questions；　but　it　hurt　to　know　that　there　was　so　much　I　didn't
know；　after　everything　that　we'd　shared。　Because　of　what　we'd　shared；　I
should　have　given　you　the　chance　to　explain；　but　I　loved　you　so　much。
Finding　out　who　you　were　like　that　was　awful。　T